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有奖活动-《变形金刚》翻译评论

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发表于 2008-2-29 11:01:29 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
把这几天大家创作的作品统一贴出来,macauor 也把自己烂作也一并贴出!大家来谈谈!
奖1-2各位威望,没有参加活动的同学,可以再此次活动同样获奖励,参加过上次活动的同学可以继续获奖!

个人感觉
1. 大家翻译的各有千秋,大量同义词汇或表达方式分别出现各位的创作中;也有共同点,如 hundreds of years, a few (several) hundred years.
2. 大家可能写得比较仓促,Universe, Earth 是不是要大写 U, E 并且要加 the.
3. 这个中文我也是从介绍上摘抄的,翻译得比较别扭,所以英语翻译是不是应该多用联结词,甚至要补上一些缺失的意思,使英语表达完整,符合逻辑!

中文
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在遥远的宇宙中一颗星球上,生活着一种称为“变形金刚”的机器生命体,他们在演化中分成了崇尚正义和平及残暴成性的两派。两军之间进行了数百年的战争,几乎耗尽了星球上所有的能源。正以领袖决定率领族人前往宇宙中寻找新的家园,但邪恶首领却尾随而至,双方战舰意外地坠毁在地球上。数百年后,因火山爆发而重新启动的主电脑,分别依照汽车和飞行器的形象改造双方。于是,战争重新在地球上开展......
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On a planet in the immense universe lived a machine-type species so-called \"Transformers\". They developed into two sides: One advocated justice and peace, while the other committed improbity and atrocities. An endless war had been waged between the two sides. The war lasted for hundreds of years and the energy resources were almost exhausted on the planet. Therefore, the head of the noble determined to lead his community to search for a new homeland in the universe. Unfortunately, they were followed by the evil. In a fierce battle, the spaceships crashed into the earth by accident. Several hundred years has passed and the central system is triggered again due to a volcanic eruption. They are re-assembled in forms of cars or aerocrafts, respectively. Subsequently, the war breaks out on the earth again.

According to 涂于德 (详见本贴20楼) and tycoon

1。one...the other 我记得是两个独立的句子,我用while连接两个独立句子表示转则关系。
2。\"crashed into\"用\"into\"表示一个动作而且撞倒了地面以下,强调\"里面\"的味道,\"crash on\"用\"on\"觉得是个静态的意思,而且是表示\"表面\"的味道。
3。“an erupting volcano” 觉得更强调进行时,我觉得“a volcanic eruption”好一些。

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macauor

On a planet of the immense Universe lived a machine-type species so-called \"Transformer\". They developed into two sides: One advocated justice and peace, while the other took improbity and atrocity. An endless war had been waged between the two sides for hundreds of years and the energy sources were almost exhausted on the planet. Therefore, the head of the noble determined to lead his community to search for a new homeland of the Universe, unfortunately, followed by the evil. In a fierce battle, the spaceshipes crashed into the Earth by accident. Several hundred years passed and the central system is triggered again due to a volcano breaking out. They are re-assembled in forms of cars or aerocrafts, respectively. Subsequently, the war takes place on the Earth again.
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tycoon

Far away in a planet of universe, there lived a robot-like thing called Performer. Two sects evolved from them, one of whom loved peace and justice and the other, prone to violence. Because wars were waged between them for hundreds of years, resources were almost consumed on their planet. The noble leader decided to lead his group to seek a new homeland in universe, but the devious leader also came along. They unexpectedly crashed on earth in a battleship. Hundreds of years later, With the main computer restarted because of volcano eruption, they transformed each other according to the form of a car and plane. Hence the war erupted again on earth.
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艺人他

In a distant planet in the universe, life is a known as the \"Transformers\" a one machine life, they Split into two factions in the evolution concerning justice of the peace and the brutal .
The two sides bring several hundred years of war, and almost exhausted all the energy on the planet. Then justice leader make a decision to find a new universe of home, but the evil leader followed them, the two side's warships crashed in the accident on the planet.
After a few hundred years, because of the volcanic eruptions then the main computer restart, in accordance with the image of the automotive and aircraft the two sides transformated.
Then, the war in the Earth carry out ......
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yzh_nj_china

in the far far galaxy, on a distant planet, organic machine lifes named as \"transformer\" exist. in the evolution of history, they are defferentiated into two fractions, one concerning justice and peace and the other concerning brutal. hundreas of war between them exausted the resourses of this barrent planet. the leader who led stands for justice led people to find a new home in the infinite universe. but the evil has followed them. warship of both side crashed on the planet which calls earth. hundreds years later, the volcanic eruption rebooted the main computer. transformation of both side into image of automobile and aircraft was executed. and so the war started again....
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xiao100

In a planet far away in the universe lives a kind of machine-being, named Transformers, which evolved into two groups—one advocates of justice and peace and another of atrocity and inhumanity. A war was being waged between the two groups for hundreds of years, and all energy was exhausted in the planet. The chief of the noble group decided to lead his followers seeking the new homeland in the universe, but the devious chief trailed behind, and the warships of the two crashed into the Earth accidentally. Hundreds of years after, mainframe was restarted in a volcanic eruption, the two groups was reconstructed into the appearances of automobiles and aircrafts respectively. Again, the war was broke out in the Earth… …
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磁铁

Long ago and far away in the universe, there was a kind of robots named BXJG on one planet. Different evolving broke them up into two camps, one was good and the other was evil. All forms of the energy on the planet was exhausted by their hundreds-years war, so the chief of GOOD-BXJG was leading his camp into the cosmos looking for their new home. But the EVIL-BXJG were also following up. Both of their battle-ships accidentally crashed on the Earth. Unfortunately their electro-hearts were activated by an awakening volcano after several hundred years. So they disguised themselves as cars and airplanes separately. As a bad result, the war will continue on earth
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capricorn_ye

a machine-life named \"Transformers\" live in a space which in a distant universal. they changed into two party by evolving between good and evil. they have combat each other since hundreds of years, which exh all energy of the space. the good party decided to look for new home , but the evils followed. all of them cracked to the earth by accidently. hundreds of years later, the main computer renew by earthquake , and change them by car and plant. so the war begain in the earth again.
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aaa

In a planet in the far far away universe, there is a kind of mechanical life form called transformer. During evolution they divided into two parties -- of which one is righteous, the other is brutal. There were wars for hundreds of years between them. Almost all resources in the planet were depleted. The leader of the just party decided to lead the tribe to search a new home for themselves in the universe, but the evil leader trailed them. The battle cruisers of both parties crashed on the Earth accidentally. Hundreds of years later, mainframes in the battleships were brought into awareness by a nearby volcano eruption. They then rebuilt each party in the shapes of automobiles and aircrafts respectively. Thereupon war was reignited on the Earth...
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秋水小柯

In the universe far away,there was a machine life named Transformers,including heroic autobots and evil decepticons.Because hundreds years war between themselves,the energy of their planet was consumed.The leader of autobots decided to leave the planet to look for new homeland with his man,but,the decepticons dogged them,their crafts fall and broken on the earth beyond their expection.Hundreds years later,the main computes reset as the result of a vulcanian eruption, one side was modified to vehicle and the other to plane.So the war begin on the earth once again......
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rwzhhflying

A star in the faraway cosmos up, living a kind of machine life which is called \"transform Golden\", In the middle of evolving,they were divided in to emphasize justice peace and cruel become sex of two parties.Both of them carried on war for several a hundred years, almost exhausted all of star energies.The justice leader decision leads clansmen to go to look for new home in the cosmos, but the improbity leader tailgate but go to, both parties' battleship crashes by chance at on the earth.After hundreds of years, the host computer re- starting because of volcano explosion, respectively reformation according to the image of car and aircraft both parties.Hence, war afresh Be opening an exhibition on the earth......
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4545

In the remote universe, there once was a star upon which lived a kind of machine life body, called \"transformers\". During their evolution ages, they gradually divided into two opponent parties: one upheld the right of just and peace, and the other were purely cruelty-nature. The wars between them continued hundreds of years, and the star's energy was exhausted. The leader of the good ones decided to seek for a new homeland with his clan, while the evil leader dangled after them.

Accidently their battleships all crashed on the Earth. Several hundred of years later, a sudden volcanic eruption trigged the main computer, which transformed the two sides according to the automobile and the aircraft's images seperately. Therefore, the war started again on the Earth...
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白马西北驰

Upon a remote star in the universe, there lived a kind of robertic life named as transformers. During the evolution,they fall into two camps. One side of them adorses righteousness and peace, while another is marked with cruel and violent nature. The two armies waged a war lasting hundreds of years, exhausting almost all the energy in the star. The leader of the good side determined to bring his fellow men to seek a new home in the universe, but the evile leader was hard on their heels. The fleets of both sides crashed upon the earth out of the blue. Hundreds of year after, the main computer was activated by an erupting volcano, and rebuilt the two sides according the images of autos and aircrafts respectively. Then, the war is restarted on Earth...
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涂于德

There lived a kind of machine life called transformers on a star in the faraway end of the universe. During the long course of gradual changing, they were divided into two camps, the group emphasizing justice and peace and the one notorious for sickening cruelty. They carried on wars for several hundred years, almost exhausting all forms of energy from the star. The former went to look for the new home in the endless cosmos, while the latter followed close, which caused unexpected crashes on the earth of both groups' battleships. Another hundreds of years passed, and people found accidentally the host computer was re-started due to the volcano explosion. And as a result, both sides were reformed according to the image of the automobile and aircraft respectively. Bloody war broke out again on the earth …
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fjfzjm

Far away on a planet in the universe lived a group of robots known as “Transformers”. In the process of their evolution, they split into two factions, one of which favors justice and peace and the other indulges in atrocity. A war was staged for hundreds of years between the two factions and nearly consumed all the energy on the planet. The leader of the noble faction decided to take his people to search for a new home in the universe but was chased by the head of the evil entity.
Accidentally, the warships of both sides crashed onto the planet of Earth. Hundreds of years later, the master computer, restarted by the volcano eruption, began to transform the two factions into cars and aircrafts respectively. Thus, the war renewed on the Earth…
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yuanjh

There was a kind of robots named transformer on a celestial body in the universe far away from us. They evolved into two factions, one of which preferred justice and peace, while the other was brutal to the extreme. The war between them lasted hundreds of years and almost used up all the energy on the celestial body. The leader of the faction of justice decided to lead his clansmen to find a new home in the cosmos. But the leader of the other faction which was evil followed them. The warships of the two factions crashed on the earth unexpectedly. Hundreds of years later, the main computers rebooted because of volcanic eruptions and transformed the two factions according to the images of automobiles and aircrafts. Then the war between them continued on the earth.
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fenglove2008

In the remote universe on a star,is living one kind is called “Transformers” the machine life body.They have divided into two factions which in the evolution advocation just peace and becomes second nature cruelly.Between both armies has carried on several hundred year war, has exhausted on nearly the star all energy on the planet. By the leader was deciding that leads the clansman to go to the universe to seek for the new homeland, but evil leader to have followed, the bilateral battleship crashes accidentally on the Earth. Several hundred years later, the host computer getting it in gear again because of volcanic eruption, the image parting for according to the automobile and aerocraft reforms both sides. Thus, in the war on the earth to carry out ......
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kakashi43

In the remote universe on a star,there was living a kind of robots named BXJG.They have divided into two factions in the evolution,one advocates just peace and the other becomes cruel.The two armies has carried on several hundred years of war,so all the energy on the planet has almost exhausted.The leader of GOOD-BXJG decided to lead the clansman into the universe to seek for the new homeland.But the evil leader was closely following. Accidentally, the bilateral battleship crashed on the Earth.Several hundred years later, because of the volcanic's eruption,their main computer start and designed themselves as automobiles and airplanes respectively.Therefore, on the Earth,the war will go on .....
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messenger

On a remote planet in the universe, there was a kind of machinery organism named \"TRANSFORMERS\", that was divided into two parts during evolvement, one pursued justice and peace and another was cruel and aggressive. All energy on the planet was almost exhausted by the war between the two parts over several million years. The chief of justice decided to lead his followers into an expedition to a new home in the universe. When the chief of evil caught up with them, the battleships of
two parts crashed onto the earth accidentally. After several million years, the main computers were reset because of explosion of volcano, and the two parts remodeled themself according to automobiles and aerocrafts respectively. Then, the war was fought again on the earth...
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Michel2kme

On a planet far into the universe lived a variety of robots called \"transformers\". During their revolution,they broke up and came into being two clans, of which one was for justice and peace and the other was for cruelty and killing. The war between them last hundreds of years, which nearly exhausted all the resources on the planet. The head of justice was determined to lead his men to seek a new home out of the universe, however, the head of evils came close behind, and the warships of both sides crashed into the planet of the earth by accident. Hundreds of years later, the main computer reboot as a result of the volcano eruption, and it transformed both the old enemies by the image of automobiles and flying machines. Finally, another new round of war between them broke out on the earth.....
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acadecd

There are robots called transformers lived on the planet far away in the sapce. As time goes by, the noble Autobots were betrayed by Decepticons leaded by Megatron. The war between the noble Autobots and the devious Decepticons had last for hundreds of years. The war almost cost all of the energy in the planet. The leader of the Autobots wanted to find their new home, but Megatron blasted off and eventually tracked them to the planet of Earth .They both drop into the earth. Hundreds of years later, they were awaked again by the breaking out of the volcano. The war has began in the earth……
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jinke

On a star remote in the universe, there exist a kind of machine-life called \"Distort King\" they evolved two kinds of parties. one worship justice and peace, the other are cruel and ferocious. The war between the two parties last for handreds years, almostly exhausting all the energy on the star. The leader of the Justice party decide to go out for a new farmland in the universe, however the Creul party leader followed them. they accidentally crashes on the Earth in a bilateral battleship. After handreds of years the main computer restart to work because the volcanic eruption, they transform each other defer to the automobile and the flight vehicle. Thus the war on the Earth began again...
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有来有回

On a distant planet, there lived some kind of machine life body named “Transforms”. During the process of evolvement, the “Transforms” divided into two factions, one peace-louing (AUTOBOT) and the other tyrannical(DECEPTICON). After hundreds years of war, all energy in the planet was used up. The AUTOBOT decided to go out to find new planet. The DECEPTION tailed behind the AUTOBOT. The spaceship of the two fictions crashed into the earth by accident. After several hundred years, the figures of the two factions were reformed according to the shape of cars and aerocrafts by computer, which started again caused by volcanic eruption. Then, the war restarted on the earth.
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发表于 2008-2-29 11:03:57 | 显示全部楼层
总结的真好,非常感谢macauor版主

另外请大家帮助挑我写的错误,这样我才能更好的学习和提高自己

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我的英语也巨烂,磁版过奖了,我还要多感谢参加活动的朋友,看他们的创作,我也获益良多。
节省版面,我就在你这个贴子回了。
macauor
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发表于 2008-2-29 11:44:50 | 显示全部楼层
晕倒,翻译中,然后帖子突然就关闭了!
好不容易有机会得威望,伤心啊!
吃饭去了......
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4545 该用户已被删除
发表于 2008-2-29 11:50:20 | 显示全部楼层
这个活动蛮好的.大家互相讨论提高.

弱弱地问,是不是翻译质量好的稿子另外有奖励啊,呵呵

还有,本评论活动有无截止时间,免得二楼的晕倒

引用第2楼tobeme2于2008-02-29 11:44发表的 :
晕倒,翻译中,然后帖子突然就关闭了!
好不容易有机会得威望,伤心啊!
吃饭去了......
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发表于 2008-2-29 11:52:37 | 显示全部楼层
引用第2楼tobeme2于2008-02-29 11:44发表的 :
晕倒,翻译中,然后帖子突然就关闭了!
好不容易有机会得威望,伤心啊!
吃饭去了......

请把您的翻译贴出来,然后把我写的那个的所有错误都挑出来

我在悬赏区把我那个威望给您,谢谢!
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发表于 2008-2-29 12:08:42 | 显示全部楼层
On a star remote in the universe, there exist a kind of machine-life called "Distort King" they evolved two kinds of parties. one worship justice and peace, the other are cruel and ferocious. The war between the two parties last for handreds years, almostly exhausting all the energy on the star. The leader of the Justice party decide to go out for a new farmland in the universe, however the Creul party leader followed them. they accidentally crashes on the Earth in a bilateral battleship. After handreds of years the main computer restart to work because the volcanic eruption, they transform each other defer to the automobile and the flight vehicle. Thus the war on the Earth began again...

On a star faraway in the universe, there exist a kind of machine-life called "Transforms" they divided into two factions . one worship justice and peace, the other are cruel and ferocious. The war between the two factions last for hundreds years, almost exhausting all the energy on the star. The leader of the Justice party decided to go out for a new farmland in the universe, however the Creul party leader followed them. they accidentally crashes on the Earth in a bilateral battleship. After handreds of years the main computer restart to work because the volcanic eruption, they transformed each other defer to the automobile and the flight vehicle. Thus the war on the Earth began again...

根据网友的翻译自己做了一些修改,也不全面
1、改remote 为faraway 更合适些
2、更改一些语法错误 比如应为almost
3、全文时态不一致,还有该大写的地方没有
4、还有其他错误请大家指出
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On a star faraway in the universe, there existed a kind of machine-life called "Transforms" . They divided into two factions . One worshiped justice and peace, and the other are cruel and ferocious. The war between the two factions lasted for hundreds of years, almost exhausting all the energy on the star. The leader of the Justice party decided to go out for a new homeland in the universe. However, the leader of the Creul party followed them. They accidentally crashed onto the Earth in a bilateral battleship. After hundreds of years the main computer restart to work because of the volcanic eruption, they transformed in terms of the automobile and the flight vehicle, respectively. Thus the war on the Earth began again...
macauor
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发表于 2008-2-29 14:04:48 | 显示全部楼层
引用第4楼磁铁于2008-02-29 11:52发表的 :


请把您的翻译贴出来,然后把我写的那个的所有错误都挑出来

我在悬赏区把我那个威望给您,谢谢!
指点万不敢说的,下班后看能不能在你的译作中挑出一两处瑕疵。
上班前先把自己的翻译发出来
    A mechanical-species called "TransFormers" lived on one planet deep in the universe,and it developed into two opposite camps:the good and the evil.Of course a war brought up and lasted for hundred of years,which almost exhausted the energy on the planet.So the cheif of the good side led his guys exploring for a new place to survive,but the evil side followed the heels,by accident all their space-ships crashed on the earth.Centuries later both sides' Central-computers were rebooted by volcanic explosion,and they rebuit themselves by the form of buses and aerocrafts.So their war inherited on the Earth ...

水平很差,请多指教。
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发表于 2008-2-29 14:40:30 | 显示全部楼层
我的翻译是参照imdb有了些专有名词(博派,狂派),但是词汇和句型貌似和大家比要略逊一筹
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发表于 2008-2-29 14:47:32 | 显示全部楼层
比较:
1. "star" vs. "planet"
star 指"恒星",而 planet 指"行星",按照常识,可能planet比star更为合适.
2. "started again"(restarted,etc.) vs. "continued"(go on,inherited,etc.)
从逻辑上讲,狂派和博派的斗争以前并未在地球上进行,在地球上只是对他们以前斗争的延续,故用"continued on earth"(or etc.) 可能比"**** again on earth"(or etc.)要好.
不知说的对不对,欢迎拍砖
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发表于 2008-2-29 15:01:24 | 显示全部楼层
磁铁
Long ago and far away in the universe, there was( were) a kind of robots named BXJG on one planet. Different evolving broke them up (They split) into two camps, one was good (the good) and the other was evil (the evil). All forms of the energy on the planet was (were) exhausted by their hundreds-years (hundreds of years’) war(s), so(So) the chief of GOOD-BXJG( the good) was leading his camp into the cosmos looking for their new home. But the EVIL-BXJG were (was) also following up. Both of their battle-ships accidentally crashed on the Earth. Unfortunately their electro-hearts were activated by an awakening volcano after several hundred years. So they disguised themselves as cars and airplanes separately. As a bad result, the war will continue on earth

修改的部分在括号里,让磁铁版主见笑了。
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发表于 2008-2-29 15:03:45 | 显示全部楼层
In the universe far away,there was a machine life named Transformers,including heroic autobots and evil decepticons.Because hundreds years war between themselves,the energy of their planet was consumed.The leader of autobots decided to leave the planet to look for new homeland with his man,but,the decepticons dogged them,their crafts fall and broken on the earth beyond their expection.Hundreds years later,the main computes reset as the result of a vulcanian eruption, one side was modified to vehicle and the other to plane.So the war begin on the earth once again......
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1.有些居然连单复数也错了,低级啊。
2.语法有错误,时态也有错误的地方
3.有些过于较劲于原来的汉语文章,感觉有些杂糅的地方
4.改动了一些地方,请大家批评指正,谢谢!
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In the Universe far away,there was a machine life named Transformers,including heroic autobots and evil decepticons.During hundreds years war between them ,the energy of their planet was consumed.The leader of autobots decided to leave the planet to look for new homeland with his men,but,the decepticons dogged them,the crafts of both broken on the Earth after a fighting.Hundreds years later,the main compute reset owing to a vulcanian eruption,  autobots were modified to vehicle and decepticons to plane.Then the war begun  once again......
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发表于 2008-2-29 15:13:59 | 显示全部楼层
macauor版主翻译的很优秀,但鸡蛋里挑骨头,不对之处尚请海涵。
1. the energy sources were almost exhausted on the planet.
   sources---resources

2. Several hundred years passed and the central system is triggered again due to a volcano breaking out.
   is ---was 后面的句子统一使用过去时为好。
a volcano breaking out---outbreak of a volcano 或者a volcanic eruption 简练些
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发表于 2008-2-29 15:16:24 | 显示全部楼层
磁大大,您翻译的比我可好多了,您要大家指出译文错误,我就抖起小胆说说(要是有威望拿,胆子就会很大很大哦),毕竟挑别人的错总是容易的,见笑了。
Long ago and far away in the universe, there was a kind of robots named BXJG on one planet. Different evolving broke them up into two camps, one was good and the other was evil. All forms of the energy on the planet was exhausted by their hundreds-years war, so the chief of GOOD-BXJG was leading his camp into the cosmos looking for their new home. But the EVIL-BXJG were also following up. Both of their battle-ships accidentally crashed on the Earth. Unfortunately their electro-hearts were activated by an awakening volcano after several hundred years. So they disguised themselves as cars and airplanes separately. As a bad result, the war will continue on earth


1)“变形金刚”的习惯翻译应该是“Transformers”吧,BXJG只是中文的拼音缩写,好像不太合适。
2)one was good and the other was evil 最好改为one of which was good and the other evil, 以修饰前面半句中的two camps;否则两个分句之间没有任何连词将它们连接。
3)hundreds-years war应该是hundreds-of-years war.
4) ...was leading.... ... was following up最好分别改为led, followed. 因为一直描述的是过去的一连串事件,所以应该与前面一致、都用一般过去时。
5)So they disguised themselves as cars and airplanes separately与原中文“(主电脑)分别依照汽车和飞行器的形象改造双方”的意思不同,可以参照大家的翻译看看。
6)As a bad result, the war will continue on earth 可改为As a result, the war continued on the earth. 同第四点一样,也要用一般过去时。另外,地球earth前面一定要加the。
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发表于 2008-2-29 15:57:23 | 显示全部楼层
发现很多东西看的懂,真要翻译了,就不知道用什么单词了。看了macauor,确实好,呵呵。
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发表于 2008-2-29 16:18:58 | 显示全部楼层
macauor,辛苦了
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发表于 2008-2-29 17:05:09 | 显示全部楼层
引用第0楼macauor于2008-02-29 11:01发表的 有奖活动-《变形金刚》翻译评论 :
1. 大家翻译的各有千秋,大量同义词汇或表达方式分别出现各位的创作中;也有共同点,如 hundreds of years, a few (several) hundred years.
2. 大家可能写得比较仓促,Universe, Earth 是不是要大写 U, E 并且要加 the.
3. 这个中文我也是从介绍上摘抄的,翻译得比较别扭,所以英语翻译是不是应该多用联结词,甚至要补上一些缺失的意思,使英语表达完整,符合逻辑!

.......


macauor版主辛苦了:)

这样总结一下,看看大家的翻译,真的很有意思!

听人说过李赋宁先生学德语的方法,他是先把德文译成中文,放一个星期,再从中文译回德文。我们这回好像是在做那后一截的练习:)
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一个小问题和macauor版主讨论一下:

earth 和universe,OALD 7上的解释和例句是这样的:

universe noun

1the universe [sing.] the whole of space and everything in it, including the earth,
the planets and the stars:

theories of how the universe began
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

earth noun, verbŒ noun

1(also Earth, the Earth) [U, sing.] the world; the planet that we live on:

the planet Earth
the history of life on earth
the earth’s ozone layer
The earth revolves around the sun.
I must be the happiest person on earth!
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发表于 2008-2-29 17:46:41 | 显示全部楼层
引用第8楼tobeme2于2008-02-29 14:47发表的 :
比较:
1. "star" vs. "planet"
star 指"恒星",而 planet 指"行星",按照常识,可能planet比star更为合适.
2. "started again"(restarted,etc.) vs. "continued"(go on,inherited,etc.)
从逻辑上讲,狂派和博派的斗争以前并未在地球上进行,在地球上只是对他们以前斗争的延续,故用"continued on earth"(or etc.) 可能比"**** again on earth"(or etc.)要好.
.......

不是让你瞎夸,要勇敢挑错,像tycoon 和fjfzjm 一样

我目前已给fjfzjm奖,tycoon的奖励由英语版的版主来给吧
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发表于 2008-2-29 19:21:20 | 显示全部楼层
水平有限,不敢挑别人的错,参考别人的后修改自己的:
  A star in the faraway cosmos up, living a kind of machine life which is called "transformer", In the middle of evolving,they were divided into emphasize justice peace and cruel parties.Both of them carried on war for several a hundred years, almost exhausted all of star energies.The justice leader decision leads clansmen to go to look for new home in the cosmos, but the improbity leader tailgate but go to, both parties' battleship crashes by a chance at on theEearth.After hundreds of years, the host computer re- starting because of volcano explosion, respectively reformation according to the image of car and aircraft both parties.Hence, war afresh Be opening an exhibition on the earth......

再读后还是觉得语句不太通顺,更谈不上“信、达、雅……”,见笑了。特别是后几句翻译不连贯,缺少主旨意思……。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-2-29 20:51:10 | 显示全部楼层
引用第15楼白马西北驰于2008-02-29 17:05发表的 :


macauor版主辛苦了:)

这样总结一下,看看大家的翻译,真的很有意思!
.......

网上搜的

问题1:初一下M11,U2 课文中的earth为什么均用了首字母大写?

回答:《麦克米伦高阶英汉双解词典》第640页earth 一词的第一个词条:
   Earth or earth 地球:the planet Earth
   The Moon goes round the Earth.
   the Earth's surface
   They studied life on Earth in all its forms.
   根据这个词条的解释,在earth一词表示“地球”时,可以首字母大写,当然也可以            小写。我们教材在earth一词表示“地球”时均采用了首字母大写的拼写方式。值得注意的是,当earth表示“大地、陆地;泥土;(狐狸等动物的)洞穴;(电器的)地线”等其他 意思时,首字母是不大写的。
  《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》537页earth 一词的第一个词条也有这样的解释:(also   Earth,the Earth)世界;地球

问题2: 外研新标准初二上P20有sun和Sun指太阳都得大写吗?

回答:sun首字母大小写的情况与earth类似。
  《麦克米伦高阶英汉双解词典》第2105页sun 一词的第一个词条:
   the Sun or the sun 太阳
  《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》1771页sun 一词的第一个词条也有这样的解释:(the sun,the Sun)太阳;日
  我们的教材在相应的情况下采用的首字母大写的拼写形式,即Sun
  值得注意的是当sun表示“恒星”时,其首字母不大写”一句,请见《麦克米伦高阶英汉双解词典》第2105页sun 词条解释的第2项。

问题3:在module3中earth, sun, mars 它们都是专有名词吗?

回答:这里的名词都大写是因为,在earth一词表示“地球”时,可以首字母大写,也可以小写。我们教材在earth一词表示“地球”时均采用了首字母大写的拼写方式。值得注意的是当sun表示“恒星”时,其首字母不大写”一句,请见《麦克米伦高阶英汉双解词典》第2105页sun 词条解释的第2项。
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发表于 2008-2-29 21:45:09 | 显示全部楼层
与威望失之交臂!

the earth中的earth, the universe中的universe可以不大写! 这一点不应该有异议, 太基础的东西了.
macauor版主的第一句“On a planet of the immense Universe lived ....”中的of应为in吧?!

总的来说, 书友们出现的错误主要是:时态不一致,用词不贴切,甚至有一些很明显的语法错误。这可能跟目前不重视语法的大环境有关。

不过说真的,通过这样的活动,的确可以提高大家的英语水平,当然同时也提高了我们论坛的品味。
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