有奖『翻译练习』（第三期）（已奖励）

我来翻译一下吧，希望各位朋友多给我意见，谢谢！
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He's going to be abroad. The news seemed to have wings and soon got round just before he's out of the Foreign Trade Bureau.
When he was back home, the room was crowded.
'Brother, bring me a computerised tape recoder!' the younger brother is much excited as if the recoder were by the hand.
'Brother, I need a series of high quality make-ups' the younger sister was so excited that it seemed as if the make-ups had taken effect and added charm to her beauty.
'Mom, what you want me to bring?' he asks.
'Nothing but a washing machine!' the mather-in-law is delighted with mouth widely opened.
'How about you, mom?'
'No matter what, bring yourself safely back' tears shining in her eyes.
People dismissed one after another.
'Zhihua, and you...?' he took his arm gently around his wife's shoulder.
'...the same with mom...' his wife gazed at him with deep feeling.
His eyes were suddenly wet with something like two string of pearls dripping down to his wife's graceful hair.

mirror79

He will go abroad, which is spreaded even his doesn't walk out foreign trade bureau.
When he went home, it was crowd." Bring me a radio with computer!' It's my younger brother's exiting vioce, sames like the radio is a piece of cake.
'Take along me a suit of fancy makeup!' My younger sister was so exited, as if the makeup do favour to her already and added her charming.
'Mom, what you want?' He asked to his mother-in-law.
'Nothing else, but a washing machine!' The smile with happy on my mother-in-law’s face maked her mouth open large.
'And mom, what about you?'
'Whatever, bring you back!' The tears sparkling in her eyes.
They had gone in successuion.
'Zhihua, you want...' He hugged his wife's shoulder and said softly.
'...just like mom...' Wife looked at him in the soul.
His tears burst out, two cluster pearly tear dripped at his wife's hair.

davidcjs

Before he  left trade bureau's front door,the message that he is going abroad had spreaded quickly among his friends and relatives.
As arriving home ,the room was crowded."old brother ,bring me a radio with integrated  micro-computer" his young brother asked excited and it seemed the recorder had already belonged to him.
"Gets me a set of advanced cosmetics."the young sister was that excited as if the cosmetics had exerted the effect and polished her beauty.
"Mother in-law ,what about you ? "
nothing but a washing machine" mother in-law was so happy and laughed.
"Nothing but bring yourself back safely."  mother sayed with tears glistening in her eyes.
People left one by one and his wife and he were now alone.
" Zhihua, what kind of gift  do you want me to get?" He put his hands on his wife's shoulders gently.
  " Same as mother's , I also hope you'll be back soundly and safely. " his wife was looking at him passionately.
  Immediately his eyes were filled with tears, some, dropped on his wife's hair.
献丑了,请多指教.

ellencheng

下面是引用hanken于2005-06-05 19:31发表的:
我来翻译一下吧，希望各位朋友多给我意见，谢谢！
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He's going to be abroad. The news seemed to have wings and soon got round just before he's out of the Foreign Trade Bureau.
When he was back home, the room was crowded.
'Brother, bring me a computerised tape recoder!' the younger brother is much excited as if the recoder were by the hand.
.......

那，客气话就不多说了，供参考。
He was to go abroad on business. The news seemed to have wings and soon got round just before he left the Foreign Trade Bureau.
He got back home only to find the sitting room was crowded.
“Brother, bring me a computerized tape recorder!”so excited was his younger brother as if the recorder were within the reach.
“Brother, bring me a series of high quality make-ups，” so excited was his younger sister that as if the make-ups had taken effect and added charm to her beauty.
“Mother， what do you want me to bring?”he asks.
“Nothing but a washing machine!”his mother-in-law was so delighted that she grinned  from ear to ear.
“How about you, Mom?”
“No matter what happens, bring yourself safely back to me，”tears glittered in her eyes.
They retired one after another.
“Darling, what do you...?” he took his arm gently around his wife's shoulder.
“...the same as mom...”his wife looked at him affectionately.
His eyes were suddenly wet，something like two strings of pearls dripping down to his wife's beautiful hair.

luo_youfu

He wants to go abroad. The person has not gone out trade bureau's front door, this news then disappears without a trace.  
Gets in the home, in the room the early seat has filled the person "elder brother, takes the belt computer to me the radio cassette player! The "younger brother is that excited, the radio cassette player is as if extremely easy to obtain.  
The "elder brother, takes set of high-quality cosmetics to me! The "younger sister is that excited, resembled the high-quality cosmetics to play the role on her body, has increased her charming.  
The "mother, what do you take? "he asked.  
"does not take other, takes the washer line! The "mother-in-law is also happy any to resemble, the mouth all quick arrived under the ear foundation.  
"mother, you? "
How "no matter, is bringing back you center! In the "mother's eye is dodging the crystal clear light.  
The person walked one after another.  
"will China, you take... ... "he the tender feelings are holding wife's shoulder.  
"... ... I and the mother are same... ... The "wife is looking him affectionately.  
His eye instantly wet, two pearls resemble thing drop in wife on luxuriant.

luo_youfu

以上是机器译稿。

montana

下面是引用luo_youfu于2005-06-07 13:14发表的:
He wants to go abroad. The person has not gone out trade bureau's front door, this news then disappears without a trace.  
Gets in the home, in the room the early seat has filled the person "elder brother, takes the belt computer to me the radio cassette player! The "younger brother is that excited, the radio cassette player is as if extremely easy to obtain.  
The "elder brother, takes set of high-quality cosmetics to me! The "younger sister is that excited, resembled the high-quality cosmetics to play the role on her body, has increased her charming.  
The "mother, what do you take? "he asked.  
"does not take other, takes the washer line! The "mother-in-law is also happy any to resemble, the mouth all quick arrived under the ear foundation.  
.......

唉～～～～机器翻译前途黯淡啊！都研究了几十年了。

Let me have a try!

    他要出国。人没出外贸局的大门，这消息便不胫而走。
Hardly had he stepped out of the Bureau of Foreign Trade when the news spread around that he was to go abroad.
　　回到家里，屋里早坐满了人“哥，给我捎台带电脑的收录机！”弟弟是那么兴奋，似乎收录机唾手可得。
Back home, he found the room crowded with family members. “Hey, how about getting me a computerized recorder?” His exhilarated younger brother asked, as if the recorder was something in the bag.
　　“哥，给我捎一套高级化妆品！”妹妹是那么激动，好象高级化妆品已在她身上发挥了作用，更增添了她的妩媚。
“I just want a set of superior cosmetics!” His younger sister followed excitedly, her face shining with joy, with the prospective effect of make-up.
　　“妈，您捎点什么？”他问。
“Mother, shall I bring you something? ” He asked.
　　“不捎别的，捎台洗衣机就行！”丈母娘也高兴得什么似的，嘴都快咧到了耳朵根底下。
“Nothing particular. A washing machine will do.” His mother-in-law was also happy, grinning from ear to ear.
　　“娘，您老呢？”
“And you, Mum?”
　　“不管咋着，把你捎回来就中！”娘的眼里闪着晶莹的光。
“Well, there is nothing whatsoever to your safe arrival!” A trace of tear sparkled in her eyes.
　　人陆续走了。
Now, the couple were left alone.
　　“志华，你捎点……”他柔情地扶着妻的肩。
“Zhihua, what do you …” He put his arm around her affectionately.
　　“……我和娘一样……”妻深情地望着他。
“… the same as Mum …” She looked back in his eyes with deep affection.
　　他的眼霎时湿漉漉了，两串珍珠似的东西滴在妻的秀发上。
His eyes were moist. Something like pearls dropped, splashing on her sleek hair.

还是改一句好了, 不然似乎有不忠实原文之嫌.

好象高级化妆品已在她身上发挥了作用，更增添了她的妩媚。
her face shining as if the make-up had already come into effect.

但说实话, 好象意译的效果更好.

ellencheng

楼上的译作清新自然，英文使用挥洒自如！

谢啦! 你的功底也很好!用within reach翻译"唾手可得"就相当贴切.佩服!

montana

欢迎hknmtt99，又一英语高手出现了：）

他要出国。人没出外贸局的大门，这消息便不胫而走。
　The news that he tended to go abroad soon widely spread before he left  the Bureau of Foreign Trade .　回到家里，屋里早坐满了人“哥，给我捎台带电脑的收录机！”弟弟是那么兴奋，似乎收录机唾手可得。 When he arrived at home which had been already crowded with his family member s ,his brother appeared  to be so excited,"Hey, my buddy,take along a radio with computer to me !",seeming that the radio were extremely easy to obtain.
　　“哥，给我捎一套高级化妆品！”妹妹是那么激动，好象高级化妆品已在她身上发挥了作用，更增添了她的妩媚。 "My buddy,take me a suit of high class cosmetics!"his sister was full of joy  that the cosmetics had already exerted more charming on her .
　　“妈，您捎点什么？”他问。"Mummy,what would you want me to bring for you ?" he asked .
　　“不捎别的，捎台洗衣机就行！”丈母娘也高兴得什么似的，嘴都快咧到了耳朵根底下。"Not others than a washing mashine!" His mother-in-law was in so great a joy that she could not help smiling into tears.
　　“娘，您老呢？”"What about you ,Mum?"
　　“不管咋着，把你捎回来就中！”娘的眼里闪着晶莹的光。人陆续走了。 "I seem to have everything as long as you come back on time ."said  his mother in tears. And people left in succession.
　　“志华，你捎点……”他柔情地扶着妻的肩。"Zhi Hua,you would like some ---" he supported his wife on the shoulder con amore.
　　“……我和娘一样……”妻深情地望着他。 "---I have the same wishes as our Mum has---"his wife looked at him affectionately .
　　他的眼霎时湿漉漉了，两串珍珠似的东西滴在妻的秀发上。He could not help falling in tears ,two lines of pearl-like tears dropping onto  his wife's hair.

五楼翻得好!

ellencheng

下面是引用stickyrice于2005-06-10 07:48发表的:
五楼翻得好!

有见地，自然中见功力。

montana

看到大家的热情参与，真是令人感动。我啥也不说了，来，bottom up！ ：）
下面给篇参考译文：

He was going abroad. The news spread rapidly even before he left the Foreign Trade Bureau.
  When he reached home, he found a roomful of people waiting for him.
  “Brother, please bring me a computer-controlled radio-cassette recorder,” said his younger brother, apparently in high spirits, as if he could get what he wanted right away.
  “Bring me a set of high-grade cosmetics, brother,” said his younger sister, filled with excitement, as if the high-grade cosmetics were taking effect on her, making her more charming.
  “Mother, what do you want me to bring you?” he asked.
  “Oh, just bring me a washing machine,” answered his mother-in-law, grinning from ear to ear. She was mighty happy.
  “What about you, mom?”
  “No matter what happens, please do bring yourself back home,” replied his mother, her eyes glistening with tears.
  People left his room one after another.
  “Zhihua, what do you want?” he asked, gently placing his hands on his wife’s shoulders.
  “I have the same idea as mom…”she said softly, gazing at him with affection.
  At this, tears welled up in his eyes and streamed down onto her beautiful hair.

montana

大家翻译的都挺好。不过对于这篇文章，在时态选择上，个人觉得用过去时更合适些。