武术典籍英译

topwaybest

占位回复alvinwoolf君。近日诸事缠身，alvinwoolf君另外三点容我稍后回复。

topwaybest

   传鉴湖女侠秋瑾《红毛刀歌》一首，与园友共赏：


《红毛刀歌》

一泓秋水净纤毫，远看不知光如刀。
直骇玉龙蟠匣内，待乘雷雨腾云霄。
传闻利器来红毛，大食日本羞同曹。
濡血便令骨节解，断头不俟锋刃交。
抽刀出鞘天为摇，日月星辰芒骤韬。
斫地一声海水立，露风三寸阴风号。
陆专犀象水截蛟，魍魉惊避魑魅逃。
遭斯刃者凡几辈？骷髅成群血涌涛。
刀头百万英雄泣，腕底乾坤杀劫操。
且来挂壁暂不用，夜夜鸣啸声疑鸮。
英灵渴欲饮战血，也如块磊需酒浇。
红毛红毛尔休骄，尔器诚利吾宁抛。
自强在人不在器，区区一刀焉足豪？



Ballad of a Red Hair's Saber

Pure autumn water unblemished by even
the tiniest specks of hair.
From afar, I didn't recognize this pool of light
as the sheen of a saber.
It so terrifies jade dragons that they
cringe and coil in their boxes,
Waiting to fly away to the clouds in a thunderstorm:
They say this saber comes from the Red-Haired People.
It is far deadlier than those of Arabia and Japan.
Barely drawing blood, it can cut asunder bone joints,
Hardly touching the neck before the victim's head rolls.
Unsheath it: heaven will shake, and
The sun, moon, and stars will quickly hide their light.
The sound of a single blow is enough to make the sea jump.
Merely three inches of its tip cause a hell wind to howl.
On earth it slaughters elephant and rhinoceros;
in water it bisects the scaly dragon.
Water sprites and mountain spirits
flee in shocked alarm.
How many have fallen victim to the saber's blade?
Skulls have piled up in mounds, and
blood has surged in billowing waves.
The ghosts of massacred millions are weeping, while
None alive is safe from the blade's swing.
Even when the saber hangs on the wall in temporary disuse,
Nightly it hisses and hoots like a savage owl.
A martial spirit thirsting for the blood of war,
A wronged soul craving for the relief of wine.
But
Red Hair, Red Hair, don't you strut.
I mean to reject your weapon though it is lethal.
Self-strengthening depends on people,
not on weaponry.
True, you have this sword, but only this sword, so
why should you swagger, why are you
so arrogant, so overbearingly proud?

topwaybest

引用第9楼alvinwoolf于2009-05-28 19:43发表的 :
也祝topwaybest君端午节快乐！

我接着谈1楼关于《吴越春秋·越女论剑》译文，纯属一孔之见，权作笑资而已。


.......

    今日终于得便，得以回答alvinwoolf君的另外三个问题。因上面留位已不能编辑，只好发在这里了：



    其四，关于“杳之若日，偏如滕兔”，翻译为“To defense, the body is as far beyond reach as the sun, and to swerve, the motion as quick as a fleeing hare”，其实我自己也感到不满意。如君所言，“杳之若日”除防守中远离对手攻击之外，也应有进攻中“放长击远”的含义，仅用to defense，缩小了原文所指范围；“偏如滕兔”形容身手轻捷，不应仅仅是swerve，取用“swerve”，只是出于“偏”字可能也有“偏身躲闪”之义的考虑。俟空，我将重新推敲此句译文，也欢迎alvinwoolf君及其他园友，如果愿意的话，提供新的译文供我欣赏、学习。

    其五，“纵横逆顺，直复不闻”句，兄的理解不错，翻译时也曾考虑直译“纵、横、逆、顺、直、复”等字，然而如果真的将其直译，放在全文语境中该句会与其它各句明显失衡，权衡再三，退而求其次，实为不得已而为之。再者，武术，包括剑术，修为境界高者往往不会再拘束于具体的招招势势，临阵应敌，随机而发，得心应手，手快于心，“just do what comes naturally”正能体现这种运用自如的神妙，所以……。 呵呵，当否，请兄指正。

    其六，“一人当百，百人当万”，其“当”字，义为抵挡、抵御不错，取pit against，是借用了北外《汉英词典》以及《毛泽东选集》“以一当十”的译法。

    北外《汉英词典》1995年修订版第1209页：
  

    北外《汉英词典》是文革中经毛泽东指示，周恩来直接关怀，由北外几十名专家学者历经八年编撰完成，1978年正式出版第一版，1995年版修订工作历时10年，是我比较推崇、信任的一本汉英词典，个人认为应无不妥。

    在《毛泽东选集》如第一卷“中国革命战争的战略问题”一文中，先后有三次出现“以一当十”，三处译文都无一例外地使用了“pit against”：

    其一：新原则和这相反：“以一当十，以十当百，勇猛果敢，乘胜直追”，“全线出击”，“夺取中心城市”，“两个拳头打人”。

    外文出版社《毛泽东选集》英文版第1卷（Selected Works of Mao Tse-Tung, Volume I, Foreign Languages Press）1964年版第214页译文：
  

   The new principles were the antithesis of the old. They were: "it one against ten, pit ten against a hundred, fight bravely and determinedly, and exploit victories by hot pursuit"; "Attack on all fronts"; "Seize key cities"; and "Strike with two 'fists' in two directions at the same time".

    其二：“以一当十，以十当百”，是战略的说法，是对整个战争整个敌我对比而言的；在这个意义上，我们确实是如此。

    外文出版社《毛泽东选集》英文版第1卷（Selected Works of Mao Tse-Tung, Volume I, Foreign Languages Press）1964年版第236页译文：
  

    When we say, "it one against ten, pit ten against a hundred", we are speaking of strategy, of the whole war and the over-all balance of forces, and in the strategic sense that is just what we have been doing.

    其三（即《汉英词典》所引条目）：我们的战略是“以一当十”，我们的战术是“以十当一”，这是我们制胜敌人的根本法则之一。

    译文在外文出版社《毛泽东选集》英文版第1卷（Selected Works of Mao Tse-Tung, Volume I, Foreign Languages Press）1964年版第237页：
  

    Our strategy is "pit one against ten" and our tactics are "pit ten against one"--this is one of our fundamental principles for gaining mastery over the enemy.

    “以一当十”语出《战国策•齐策一》：“使彼罢弊先弱守于主，必一而当十，十而当百，百而当千。”然目前两种《战国策》译本的译文，似乎都不能令人满意，先看近代英国来华传教士Bramwell Seaton Bonsall的译文：

    If you put the worn-out men in the van and let the weakly ones keep guard at Chu, one man will certainly be able to withstand ten, ten will withstand a hundred, a hundred will withstand a thousand.

    细细品味，且不说其它内容准确与否，觉得“withstand”一词，多了许多被 动意味，如借用，难以表达出艺高如“越女”者“勇者不惧”、主动应敌的英雄之气。而大中华文库翟江月译本“If you appoint the old, weak and exhausted soldiers to defend it, every one of them can easily confront ten enemies”随意丢失了“十而当百，百而当千”的信息，因而损害原文的语言特色而显得差强人意。进而再比较大中华文库本《史记选•项羽本纪》杨宪益、戴乃迭“楚战士无不以一当十”译文“Each soldier of Chu was a match for ten of the enemy”，觉得还是“pit against”贴切，既能表示主动应敌的勇气，也能表达出对敌人的一种特有轻蔑。

    至于“一人”、“百”、“百人”、“万”等数字，是虚数、虚指没错，但英语中数字以实指虚，其实也是常见用法，简单如“A stitch in time saves nine”等，所以翻译时照实直译，未对数字进行任何意译处理，因为一者觉得直译足以传达原文“以少胜多，以弱胜强”的含义，意译反而会失去原文特有的语言表达特色；二者汉译英中类似问题人们习惯直译，如毛泽东诗句“一万年太久，只争朝夕”，堪称经典的译法是“Ten thousand years are too long, seize the day, seize the hour!”。而“三个臭皮匠，合成一个诸葛亮”，经典的译法也是“Three cobblers with their wits combined, equal Zhuge Liang the master mind”。

    以上诸点，当否，欢迎alvinwoolf君及其他园友讨论、批评、指正，如果愿意，也请提供新译文供我欣赏、学习。 ：）