收集英语笑话,大家共享! 共同进步!  (学英语应该快快乐乐的学)

glen1111

英文：
A farmer went down town with his son. They entered a skyscrapper and came before a small iron box with iron doors.
They saw the iron doors open and a wrinkled granny went into the box through the door, which closed after her.
A moment later, the door reopened and a very very beautiful young lady walked out of the box.
The farmer was dumbfounded. He turned to his son and cried, "Go get your mum, she need to be in the box".

Of course, we know that this "box" is nothing else than an elevator.

中文：
农夫与其子进城。他们进入一座大楼，来到一个铁盒子旁，铁盒子上开着一对铁门。
一会铁门开了，一位满脸皱纹的老太太走进了铁盒子，接着门关上了。
又一会儿，铁门再次打开了，从里面走出一位光彩照人，美丽无比的女士。
农夫目瞪口呆，他转头冲着儿子喊道，“快回家叫你的妈妈来，她也得进这个铁盒子”

实际上，记者朋友当然知道，这只所谓的铁盒子不过是一架电梯而已。

coffee2008

1 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了！”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢？”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢？”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗？有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的？他怎么做到的？”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了！”

2. Class, Lass and Ass

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "rofessor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

Tom教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“Tom教授明天将和大家见面”。

一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。


注：lass 情妇 ass 驴 笨人