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The steamer glided alongside and the boy skipped aboard like a child in a dance game—a flurry of steps, then motionless until the music starts again.
滑行的汽船靠上了岸,小伙子跳上船,好像玩跳舞游戏的小孩一样,脚步移动一阵,然后一动不动,直到音乐重新开始。
For forty-eight hours, night and day, he had had nothing to think of but this moment: now.
整整48小时,不管白天还是黑夜,他都只想着现在这个时刻。
Driving, he had stared wakefully at the road, imagining, between glimpses of his wife and little girl, the many disastrous things that could go wrong.
开车的时候,他盯着路面,保持清醒,除了偶尔想到妻子和小女儿外,一直在想象可能出错,造成灾难的许多种可能。
He knew he had a talent for disaster. During his rare breaks for coffee, he had packed and repacked the oranges a dozen times, laying the envelope lengthways, sideways—no, this angle is better, it is more appropriate, easier to get hold of.
他知道自己是个灾难制造者。少有的几次中途休息时,他把桔子重新摆放了一遍又一遍,把信封一会儿直着放,一会儿侧着放——不对,应该这个角度放好点,比较合适,比较容易拿。
At the edge of town he had collected small change so that he would have the fare exactly—what if the conductor held him up, engaged him in casual conversation?
到了城市边上,他换了些零钱,这样买票时就不用找钱。如果售票员缠上了他,和他闲聊怎么办?
There was so little time to do what he had to do! He would speak no German, he had worked it out.
他要做的事情这么多,时间却又这么短。他已经想好了,不说一句德语。
He would mumble, smile, be reticent, apologise, but stay mute.
他会喃喃自语,微笑,沉默寡言,表示歉意,但不开口。
Or he would say some of his few words of Estonian—some phrase from the Bible he could still remember from his Lutheran childhood, before his father insisted he learn Russian.
或者他会说些他说不来几句的爱沙尼亚语——他还记得童年信路德教时从《圣经》中看来的一些短语,后来他父亲坚持让他学俄语。
But now, with the moment so close upon him, the boy suddenly saw a snag in this plan.
但现在,眼看时间就快到了,小伙子突然发现这个计划有问题。
What if his fellow passengers then came to his aid? In polyglot Hamburg, with the East only a few miles away, any six people could muster as many languages between them! Better to keep silent, be blank.
如果同船的旅客中有人听得懂,帮忙翻译怎么办?汉堡通行多种语言,与东方铁幕国家只有几英里之遥,任意找六个人,都可能讲六种语言!最好还是保持沉默,面无表情。
He wished he had shaved. He wished he was less conspicuous.
他想要是把胡子刮了,不那么引人注目就好了。
Inside the main cabin of the steamer, the boy looked at nobody. He kept his eyes lowered; avoid eye contact, the General had ordered.
在汽船的主舱里,小伙子不看任何人,眼睛一直往下看。将军的命令说,要避免目光接触。
The conductor was chatting to an old lady and ignored him. He waited awkwardly, trying to look calm.
售票员在和一位老太太聊天,没有注意到他。他不自在地等待着,努力保持镇静。
There were about thirty passengers. He had an impression of men and women dressed alike in green overcoats and green felt hats, all disapproving of him.
大约有30名乘客,男男女女给他的印象是穿着绿色大衣,戴着绿色毡帽,都对他不以为然。
It was his turn. He held out a damp palm. One mark, a fifty-pfennig piece, a bunch of little brass tens. The conductor helped himself, not speaking. Clumsily, the boy groped his way between the seats, making for the stern.
轮到他买票了。他伸出湿漉漉的手掌。一个1马克,一个50芬尼,还有几个10芬尼的硬币。售票员把钱收去,没有说话。小伙子笨拙地在座位间摸索着,向船尾走去。
The jetty was moving away. They suspect me of being a terrorist, thought the boy.
码头渐渐远去。小伙子想,他们大概怀疑我是个恐怖分子。
There was engine oil on his hands and he wished he’d washed it off. Perhaps it’s on my face as well.
他手里有机油,早洗掉就好了。也许脸上也有。
Be blank, the General had said. Efface yourself. Neither smile nor frown. Be normal.
将军说过,要面无表情。不引起别人注意。既不要微笑,也不要皱眉。要保持平常的神态。
He glanced at his watch, trying to keep the action slow.
他看了下表,尽量把动作放慢些。
He had rolled back his left cuff in advance, specially to leave the watch free.
他事先把左袖卷高了,特意让手表露出来。
Ducking, though he was not tall, the boy arrived suddenly in the stern section, which was open to the weather, protected only by a canopy.
尽管小伙子个子不高,但还是低下身子走路,突然就到了船尾部分,这里除了一个顶篷,就是露天的。
It was a case of seconds. Not of days or kilometres any more; not hours. Seconds. The timing hand of his watch flickered past the six. The next time it reaches six, you move.
这只是几秒钟的事。不再是天数或公里数,也不再是小时数。是秒。表上的秒针过了六点。下一次秒针到达六点时,你就行动。
A breeze was blowing but he barely noticed it. The time was an awful worry to him. When he got excited—he knew—he lost all sense of time completely.
微风吹来,但他没留意。时间是他非常担心的东西。他知道自己兴奋的时候就完全失去了时间感。
He was afraid the seconds hand would race through a double circuit before he had realised, turning one minute into two.
他担心秒针会在他意识到之前跑过两圈,原本一分钟,变成了两分钟。
In the stern section all seats were vacant. He made jerkily for the last bench of all, holding the basket of oranges over his stomach in both hands, clamping the newspaper to his armpit at the same time: it is I, read my signals.
船尾的座位空无一人。他急忙走向最后一张长椅,双手把装橘子的篮子揽在肚子前,同时把报纸夹在腋下:是我,看我发出的信号。
He felt a fool. The oranges were too conspicuous by far. Why on earth should an unshaven young man in a track suit be carrying a basket of oranges and yesterday’s newspaper?
他感觉自己像个傻瓜一样。橘子太显眼了。一个穿着运动服、胡子没刮干净的年轻人,究竟为什么要提着一篮子橘子,带着昨天的报纸呢?
The whole boat must have noticed him! “Captain—that young man—there—he is a bomber! He has a bomb in his basket, he intends to hijack us or sink the ship!”
全船的人肯定都注意上了他!"船长,那个年轻人,他是个恐怖分子!他的篮子里有炸弹,他想劫持我们或者炸沉这艘船!"
A couple stood arm in arm at the railing with their backs to him, staring into the mist.
一对夫妇手挽手站在栏杆边,背对着他,凝视着薄雾。
The man was very small, shorter than the woman. He wore a black overcoat with a velvet collar. They ignored him. Sit as far back as you can; be sure you sit next to the aisle, the General had said.
男人个子很矮,比女人还矮。他穿着天鹅绒领子的黑色大衣。他们没有理他。将军说过,尽量往后坐,一定要坐在过道旁边。
He sat down, praying it would work the first time, that none of the fall-backs would be needed.
他坐下来,祈祷一次就能成功,不需要采取任何备用措施。
“Beckie, I do this for you,” he whispered secretly, thinking of his daughter, and remembering the General’s words.
"贝基,我是为了你才这么做的。"他一边想着女儿,一边想着将军的话,喃喃自语道。
His Lutheran origins notwithstanding, he wore a wooden cross round his neck, a present to him from his mother, but the zip of his tunic covered it.
尽管他出身路德教派,但脖子上还是挂着一个木制十字架,这是他母亲送的礼物,不过他的外衣拉链把十字架遮住了。
Why had he hidden the cross? So that God would not witness his deceit? He didn’t know. He wanted only to be driving again, to drive and drive till he dropped or was safely home.
他为什么要把十字架藏起来?是为了不让上帝看到他的欺骗行为吗?他不知道。他只想再次开车上路,一直开一直开,直到他倒下,或是安全到家。
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