红楼梦翻译对比分析一

balatu

欲读红楼，必先知金陵判词也，金陵判词者，凡十四首，关乎人物之命运，统领情节之发展。以下一一对比分析：
曹版：可叹停机德，堪怜咏絮才。玉带林中挂，金簪雪里埋。
杨戴版：Alas for her wifely virtue,Her wit to sing of willow-down, poor maid.Buried in snow the broken golden hairpin,And hanging in the wood the belt of jade.
霍克版：One was a pattern of female virtue,One a wit who made other wits seem slow.The jade belt in the greenwood hangs, The gold pin is buried beneath the snow.
难点：停机德和咏絮才
杨将“停机德”译作“her wifely virtue”，而霍译则是“female virtue”；因为典故出自夫妻，所以杨译更符合原文表述的意思。
杨译“咏絮才”译作“her wit to sing of willow-down”，化用了谢道韫的典故，对于了解这段典故的读者而言自然更觉贴切，但对外国读者而言却无法很快地了解到林黛玉才情非凡这一点；并且willow指柳树，柳絮用willow catkin更为贴切。而霍译则是“who made other wits seem slow”，隐去了典故，用意译的方式表达出林黛玉的才情让别人相形见绌。两者的翻译在“达意”方面各有千秋。
曹版：凡鸟偏从末世来，都知爱慕此生才。一从二令三人木，哭向金陵事更哀。
杨戴版：This bird appears when the world falls on evil times;None but admires her talents and her skill;First she complies, then commands, then is dismissed,Departing in tears to Jinling more wretched still.
霍克版：This phoenix in a bad time came; All praised her great ability.Two makes my riddle with a man and tree:Returning south in tears she met calamity.
难点：拆字
杨将凡鸟译作“bird”，将原文隐含的意思挑明，虽然贴合原文的意思，但是却失去了琵琶半遮的韵味，也与后文中的众人称赞不太相符，对不懂典故的读者而言理解上有些难度。而霍译则是“phoenix”，将凡鸟的出处点明，与后续的内容连接自然。
杨用comply--command--dismissed写出了凤姐的命运转变。而霍译则省去了前面的弯弯绕绕，直接表明了凤姐最后被休的命运，他的译文“'Two' makes my riddle with a man and tree”沿用了判词的隐晦风格，一人一木两者组成的谜语——谜底是“休”。
曹版：二十年来辨是非，榴花开处照宫闱。三春争及初春景，虎兔（兕）相逢大梦归。
杨戴版：For twenty years she arbitrates,Where pomegranates blaze by palace gates.How can the late spring equal the spring's start ?When Hare and Tiger meet,From this Great Dream of life she must depart.
霍克版：You shall, when twenty years in life's hard school are done,In pomegranate-time to palace halls ascend.Though three springs never could with your first spring compare,When hare meets tiger your great dream shall end.
难点：辨是非
杨译中将“辨是非”译成“arbitrate”，arbitrate表示“仲裁，公断”，更多地用在正式场合，放在这里有点生硬；霍译则直接省去了“辨是非”，翻译了背后的引申义“in life's hard school”。从字面意思上不忠实，但从内容深度上讲，更胜一筹。
曹版：子系中山狼,得志便猖狂。金闺花柳质,一载赴黄粱。
杨戴版：For husband she will have a mountain wolf,his object gained he ruthlessly berates her;Fair bloom, sweet willow in a golden bower,Too soon a rude awakening awaits her.
霍克版：Paired with a brute like the wolf in the old fable,Who on his savior turned when he was able,To cruelty not used, your gentle heartShall in a twelve month only break apart.
难点：典故。
杨译将“山中狼”译作“a mountain wolf”，霍译中是“a brute like the wolf in the old fable”，显然后者更容易理解，迎春嫁的是一个像狼那样残暴的“畜生”brute。但霍译更符合“得志便猖狂”表达的意思，他受惠于贾府，却对贾府的小姐不好，背弃恩人，并且霍译根据国外的文化特性选取了具有宗教含义的“savior”一词。
黄粱是死亡的委婉表达，霍译为“heart……break apart”，意为“心碎”，没有体现死亡的含义；而杨译是“a rude awakening”，是参照了原典故“从美梦中醒来，一切成空”的意思。
（等待威望和财富。。。。）

tigro

两个译本，各有千秋。总体上看，杨译应该更好一些，毕竟对原文的理解，杨比霍更好。

fhzcy

《红楼梦》翻译，杨宪益、戴乃迭版和霍克斯版；各有千秋，不可一概而论。

不过即便两者对照同时看，也难及原作万一，曹公大才。