翻译质量讨论

daxigua

上次发了一贴，讨论一则公司简介的译文，广大书友积极参加并提供了很好的意见和建议。今天再发一贴，讨论某篇旅游资料的 翻译质量，指出不足之处或修改意见的书友将给予币币奖励。

东部华侨城位于中国深圳大梅沙，占地近9平方公里，是由华侨城集团斥资35亿元精心打造的世界级度假旅游目的地，是由国家环境保护部和国家旅游局联合授予的首个 “国家生态旅游示范区”。

东部华侨城集两个主题公园、三座旅游小镇、四家度假酒店、两座36洞山地球场、大华兴寺和天麓地产等项目于一体, 处处体现人与自然的和谐共处。

景点之一的茶翁古镇是茶文化的鉴赏区和中心服务区，也是环境幽雅的游客休憩区。游客可以品茶餐、尝茶点、吃土菜、观茶戏、饮茶酒，深入了解茶禅文化；还可以在茶艺坊、茶酒坊、陶艺坊亲身体验采茶、制茶、做陶的乐趣。

Covering an area of 9 square kilometers at Da Mei Sha of Shenzhen, OCT East is the national ecological tourism demonstration district and the international tourism destination, at an investment of 3.5 billion Yuan by the OCT Group.

It is a combination of two theme parks, three scenic towns, four resort hotels, two 36-hole golf courses, Huaxing Temple and Tianlu mansion etc., to fully display the harmonious coexistence of human and nature.

As the central service center, the ancient tea town is a place to appreciate tea culture, as well as an elegant site for relaxation. Tourists may indulge in tea meal, tea & pastry, tea & drama, or try the local dish and taste some tea liquor. In this way, you get to know in-deep knowledge of tea & zen culture. Alternatively you may enjoy the experience in picking tea leaves, tea making and pottery making by you own at the Tea Art House, the Tea & Liquor House and the Pottery Workshop.

makeeoe

Eastern Expatriates’ City, situated in Da Mei Sand, ShenZhen, China, covering an area of 9 square kilometers, is a world-class tourist resort elaborately constructed by Expatriates Township Co (Group) with 3.5 billion RMB. It is first designated as “national ecologic model area” by the Department of Environmental Protection and Bureau of Tourism.

The Eastern Expatriates’ City incorporates two theme parks, three tourism townships, four resort hotels, two 36 holes mountain fields, a temple and an estate project, built on the notion that human should live in harmony with nature.

makeeoe

As one of the tourism spot, Antique town is the tourists’ service center where tourists can appreciate the tea culture. It also serves as a tranquil and quaint resting area. Tourists may savour tea food, desserts, local specials, watch drama, drink wines and immerse oneself deep in the Buddhist culture. Tourists may also relish picking and producing tea and making pottery in special workshops.
最后一段好难翻译啊，

makeeoe

谈谈我对范本的看法，供大家讨论。

combination这个词恐怕有问题，它的意思是。。。。特性的组合和混合，
用incorporate意思更贴切些，意思是一体化的包含.

例外，品尝还是用savor好些，indulge in这个词的意思是沉湎于。。。

第一句，政府授予的示范区，感觉翻译的有些问题，动词用designate挺好。

elegant是指人举止优雅，不能修饰物，

我的一些用词有问题，比如：高尔夫球场，茶点（心），我的翻译是错误的，pastry更准确，
而desserts的意思是饭后点心。

coolfool

One of sightseeing spots, old Tea-Drinking Crock Town, is the appreciation area of tea culture and service center, as well as the tourist resting quarter with elegant atmosphere. Travelers may enjoy savoring the tea food, sampling the tea refreshments, tasting the local cuisine, watching drama over tea, sipping the tea-brewed wine, and/or probing into the culture of tea and Zen. Visitors may, too, take delight in picking tea leaves in the tea-art plot, producing the home-made tea at the tea-making workshop, and/or potting at the ceramic studio.

makeeoe

probe这个词不太合适，是检查，探究的意思，cuisine很贴切，

coolfool

probe:

vi. seek to uncover information about someone or something

makeeoe

言外之意是探究不为人知的某些信息或者隐私等。注意是uncover

coolfool

探究 means here in my book to dig for what one doesn't, but now hope to, grasp. It, therefore, has the meaning of 进一步, if I don't happen to get it all wrong. Uncover, not an uncommon transitive verb, is discover.

泪之梦

讨论很激烈，列队学习