散文《秋天的色彩》英译讲解

fangeorge

这篇短文的英译经北外李金达教授的的悉心打磨，可以帮你从中领悟翻译之道——翻译时选择哪个词、哪种句式、哪种语气，为何做出取舍，这些翻译的细节之处你都可在“注释”中发现。

秋天的色彩 ——维也纳老人生活一瞥
Splendor of the fall
    --A Glimpse at the Life of Senior Viennese
注释：
1 “秋天”：fall，如in the fall of 2008，又如美国大学的Fall Quarter即秋季班，另外fall也给人以“晚年”的联想。
2 “色彩”：译成splendor（光辉，光彩），给人一种很有希望的的感觉。
3 “一瞥”：即眼前一闪而过，a glimpse (a brief, incomplete view)，如a glimpse of Shanghai（上海一瞥）。

和许多发达城市一样，维也纳也早就进入了老龄社会。应该说，在奥地利这样的高福利国家，老人们起码的生活来源是不用担心的。包罗万象的社会福利系统给老人们提供了许多方便。除了名目各异的津贴与保险之外，还有各种各样的优惠，如乘火车，参观博物馆，听歌剧等等，都会因为您是老人而折扣收费。这些优惠甚至还扩展到了来奥地利的外国老年旅游者。只要他们出示必要的身份证明，完全可以和奥地利老年公民享受同等待遇。
Like many other metropolises in the world, Vienna has entered an old-age society. I must say, in a country with high social welfare benefits like Austria, aged people needn't worry about their primary needs of livelihood. The all-embracing social welfare system facilitates people in their advanced age. In addition to the subsidies and insurances of every description, there are other favors such as travelling by train, visiting museums and attending operas at cut prices all on account of your old age. Such favors are also extended to aged visiting tourists to Austria. They only have to produce their ID or other corresponding certificates and they will enjoy the same privileges like their Austrian counterparts.

注释：
1 “发达城市”：在英语中不说developed cities，应译成metropolises（大都会）。
2 “应该说”：I must say，是插入语，常见于英语口语中，意即“我是这么想的，你不一定完全同意我的看法”。
3 “在奥地利这样的高福利国家”：“高福利”是“国家”的定语，但不能放在名词前面，而是作为介词短语后置作定语，in a country with high social welfare benefits like Austria。
4 “起码的”：即基本的、主要的，primary和essential都可，也可以用basic或elementary，不过档次低了点儿。
5 “生活来源”：生计、生存，过日子，livelihood，needs of livelihood指生活必需品。
6 “包罗万象”：即什么都包括在内的，因此all-embracing、all-inclusive均可。
7 “提供了许多方便”：切勿把“方便”译成convenience，而应用facilitate (make easier, aid, assist)。
8 “都会因为”：all on account of...复合介词，跟because of同义，前者多半用于正面肯定，如on account of one's old age/seniority/rich experience等，而后者用于负面、责怪较多，如The football match was cancelled because of rain.
9 “来奥地利的外国老年旅游者”：“外国”不必也不应翻译，因为到奥地利旅游的一定是外国人，所以visiting tourists to Austria即可。

然而，我们知道，衣食无忧仅仅是生活的一个方面，人们对生活的要求是多侧面的，文明程度越高，人们的心理需求就越高。尤其是老年人，他们和青年人一样，也有文化的需要，娱乐的需要，尊严的需要，成就感的需要，更何况他们已经走过了生命的大部分历程。他们要在生命的最后一个阶段活得更加舒心，活得更有色彩。在维也纳的日子里，我们见到的老年人，好像都生活得有滋有味的。我常常会被他们所感染。我由衷地敬佩他们积极的生活态度，我尤其欣赏他们那开朗的精神状态。因为我们语言不通，我无法和他们更深入地交流，我只能将我所看到的情景和场面白描似地记录下来。
Yet, we all know that supply of provisions and clothing is only one aspect of life; man's demand on life is many-sided. Higher the civilization, higher is man's psychological aspiration. This is especially true of old folks. Like young people, they have the need of cultural life, the need of recreation and amusement, the need of dignity and the need of accomplishment. Besides, having traversed greater part of their lives and unwilling to leave behind too many regrets, they want to, in their remaining years, make their lives easier and more substantial. During my stay in Vienna, I found that all the elderly people I met with seemed to enjoy their lives enormously. Contagiously, I couldn't help admiring them for their positive attitude toward life, especially their optimism. Because of the language barrier I could not go deep into our conversation. So, all I could do is record what I saw then and there in sketch forms.

注释：
1 “衣食无忧”：直译是not having to worry about...，但往下就接不上了，还不如从正面切入，译成supply of provisions and clothing为好。
2 “他们已经走过了......，享受同等待遇”：counterpart指“相对应的人；对手方”，如Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing met his American counterpart Powell in New York。
3 “被他们所感染”：可别译成I was infected by them，人家还以为你得了传染病呢。contagious表示“有感染力的”，如contagious laughter。

一天，我又漫步走进了一家古董店，毫无目的地浏览着各种奇奇怪怪的古玩意儿。往店堂深处走时我突然发现此店的收银员是一位老太太。我无法知道是什么原因使这位老妇人在应该颐养天年的岁数还在充当上班族，我只知道一眼看去这位老妇人是喜欢这份工作的，而且也完全能够胜任这份工作。只见她全神贯注，手指在收银机的键盘上利索地摁动着，每结完一份帐，便会抬起头来对着顾客微微一笑，没有一颗牙的嘴笑起来有点滑稽也有点天真，但相当有趣。我不由自主地在她身边停了下来。我突然发现这位老妇人坐在收银台上和这家古董店的情调是那么的和谐，说不定正是这家商店用以招徕顾客的特殊手段。我是带着许多问号离开这家商店的，因为我觉得这位老妇人和这家古董店肯定有着一段很有意思的故事，只可惜我听不到了。
One day, I strolled into an old curiosity shop where I browsed the antiques on display. As I walked further into the store, I found, to my great surprise, that the cashier behind the register turned out to be an old woman. I can never understand what has driven this old woman to join the rank of wage earners at an age when she should take life easy and enjoy the few days she had left with her. All I know is that I could tell at first sight she apparently enjoyed what she was doing, and was competent for the job. Her concentration of mind, her skillful handling of the cash register and her faint, naive yet somewhat facetious smile from behind her toothless mouth after the settlement of each account was simply amusing. Somehow I halted beside her. Only then did I discover in what perfect harmony the old woman behind the cashier's register was with the antique shop. It can very well be a trick employed to attract customers. With many questions unasked I left that store, for somehow I was convinced there must be something intriguing between this old woman and the old curiosity shop. How I wish I could hear it all!

注释：
1 “浏览”：即随便看看，翻阅（书刊等），browse (to look through or over casually)。
2 “突然发现......是一位老太太”：表达出乎意料的含义，turn out to be an old woman。
3 “上班族”：wage earner（靠挣工资生活的人），“族”即阶层，“上班族”即rank of wage earners。
4 “全神贯注，手指在收银机......，抬起头来......”：在原文中这是三个独立的句子，直译出来又长又不顺，把它们译成三个名词短语就紧凑多了，全句谓语是“相当有趣”。
5 “结完一份帐”：settle（结算、结帐）；account（账）。
6 “只可惜我听不到了”：这是个虚拟叹句，即我要是能听他们说说这里面的奥秘该多好啊！(How I wish I could hear it all!)