My Way of Study

glen1111

You know that every one hope to be successful, I am not exceptional.
When I was young, I had determined to be a university student, which was about more than thirty years ago. At that time, university may be the best place that I can imagine. For you see, living in poverty, what you think of most is not longer to be starving, and so my parents always told me to study hard and be a university student one day.
I studied very hard, that my health began to fail when I was in junior middle school. For working so hard and being so economic, I should study for over much more excess time besides the bad food. In order to save time for study, I stayed in school and spend my lunch time in studying, which of course I know is not so scientific, but I just paid not attention at that time. In fact, there was food in the dining hall of the school, but it cost 5 jue at that time, and I can't afford that everyday, so I just took a piece of cold and hard piece of Mantou (Chinese bread) with me and cheat my stomatch with that. That is why I got a bad stomatch whihc still hurt me.
When I was in the senior middle school, the things became not a little bit better, even worse. I took Mantou with me still for a week, which were always hard and went moldy after every Wednsday. And I got stomachache often. In fact, I don't have much time in study, most of my time, I spent in sickness, but I never told my parents, for I didn't want to see them in bitterness.
I could not imagine how did I get through this.
The first year for the university entrance examination, I am sick in the examination and I failed. Parents blamed me terribly. Of course they felt dissapointed, but they got no idea what their son got through all these years.
The next year I still spent in sickness, but I managed to enter college, which although is not so satisfying, but I accepted, because I am tired too.
In fact, health problem has ever since been a big problem in my later years, which affected my life and lagged me behind. I think, if not such a thing, I should had done better.
Thanks to my wife, who tendered me patently after marriage and greatly improved my health. Now I was working so hard to provided them a better life--my wife and my son, the ones I love so much that hate to let them taste anything bad I had met in my life.

glen1111

Have you ever found any day that you not feel like to do anything. Even you hope to do something worthy deep in your heart, you just find yourself idle all the way through. I do feel it today.
From morning on, I found myself in a uncomfort. In fact, I had planned in advance to learn manythings, including memorizing some new words, do some practices, and surfing some websites for newly uploaded files.
But once sit there, I found myself idle away. Before I had found out, I had been wandering idlly in something website that is nothing to do with my plan. Few people remarked me as a loose-hearted man, but I know by my heart that I am. These sites that had carried me away are some places for entertainment, and have nothing to do with my major.
Sometime I even doubt if it is because I had charged myself too much, perhaps I need some relax from the tense of work. But a subconscious always remind me that the competition is always heated. No effort, you are surely to be lagged behind someday. But hardworking sometimes really seems not so effective.
In fact, I know what I should do in such time when I cannot do anything else--to devote myself into something cocrete, such as writing, it is may because hard working can calm me down. But do I really must press myself so hard?
I am in a dilemma.
There is always a sound echoing by my ears, that is "Today you don't work hard, tomorrow will find you working hard to find works". That is why I must work hard, but I really think that I should give myself some reasonable relaxation.
Would anyone be kind enough to discuss this issue with me?
How to deal with the realationship between hardworking and relaxation?
Do you have any ideas to liberate us such working class from such a dilemma.
Wish for your attention and thanks for your advices!

liumx2000

Take it easy.

You asked about liberation, this is my two cents worth: In order to live, what is the basic? I mean the air we breath , the water we drink, the food we eat, are these basic enough? Or rather the way of life we have chosen? Is there any way out?

I know the ultimate answer is death itself (or is it?) but we greedy human being longed for immortality and just would not let go easily, but cling to our miserable daily struggle, as in the case of Sisyphus. Sisyphus is miserable, he cannot choose to not to push the rock uphill.

Can we just make a suicidal move to solve all troubles? That is very selfish indeed! For that too is a doubtful solution. What if there are more troubles if I die?

Freedom can be a subjective state of mind, you may choose your path many ways, but only you yourself live your life.

glen1111

Re: Re: dilemma
First of all, I appreciated limux2000's kind reply. Second, I would like to rewrite something in limux2000's works, which I think would benefit us both and I wish limux2000 would never be upset anyway. Third, I want to say something aroused from your kind writing.

Following pls find my rewriting, anything improper pls point out for discussion:

Take it easy.

You asked about liberation, this is my two cents worth: In order to live, what is the basic ((basis)/or( what is basic))? I mean the air we breath(breathe) , the water we drink, the food we eat,(.) are(Are) these basic enough(cancle)?(.) Or(or) rather the way of life we have chosen? Is there any way out?

I know the ultimate answer is death itself (or is it?)(,) but we greedy human being longed(long) for immortality and just would not let go easily, but cling to our miserable daily struggle, as in the case of Sisyphus. Sisyphus is miserable, he cannot choose to(cancel) not to push the rock uphill.

Can we just make a suicidal move to solve all troubles? That is very selfish indeed! For that too is a doubtful solution. What if there are more troubles if I die?

Freedom can be a subjective state of mind,(.) you(You) may choose your path (from) many ways(cancel), but only you yourself live your life.

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And following is my third step:
What limux2000 said above is very true. We human can not expect to do everything well. We are limited in capacity, energy and eyesight. So wherever necessary, just let go and ease ourselves.

This remind me of one story I have read in a magazine:
Tom was recently raised to the position of deputy manager of the Company for his deligence and hard working. After that, he work even harder and became more deligent and careful. Everything he would examine by himself and thus lost a lot of fun time. That day at eleven, he received a call from the boss next door and asked him to eat out together that very noon. "I will pick you at twelve then", said the boss and hang up. But till eleven fifty, he was still busy in many chores, and there seems not an end of the faxing and copying, so he called the boss and told him that he was stil busy. "I will wait you in the car then", said the boss and hang up.
At twelve fifteen, he at last managed to draw himself out and rushed downstairs. There the car has been started, and through the window can be seen the unhappiness on the boss' face. He apologized again and got into the car.
"If you cannot even eat at lunch, what can you do", said the boss after the car began to drive.
After that incident, Tom considered the thing through and realized that he should let his men do more things under his supervision. He really did so and found himself many relax.
Everytime, when he, carrying a cup of coffee, eyed the boss, who is also hold a cup of tea, they will both smile heartedly to each other.
I think, what I should do now is to learn something from the above Tom and let go some of the things.