一封英文短信，请英语高手给我指出错误

ewenwen2007

一封英文短信，请英语高手给我指出错误，越多越好，不胜感激
Dear sister L: How are you these days? Did you enjoy your time in your college? Actually, I am so regretful that I can not go to your college and enjoy my experience with you, Andy and some of my friends. Here is the map of Canada which I spent a lot of on it on October 1,2007. I know this map is rather simple, but it expresses the desire of my heart ! So,I hope you will love it and take care of it as you love your boyfriend , also this letter. I mean it ! I want to further my study in Canada, which is the wonderful place to study and live, has a worldwide reputation of abundant natural resources and terrific quality of education.. I know this plan is difficult and hard to come true however, I am confident of getting a satisfying mark in the IELTS examination . Well, similarly,if you stick to your goals , I am sure that you can do it too. Why not have a try , if you say “Yes, I can do it”, this is the confidence we have in approaching success. I will pray that you will keep passion on your study in the rest day of your life, and you will do a good job in this semester. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you .”-Bible

七品茶

I am not a 高手, just some personal opinion:

Dear sister L: How are you these days? Did you enjoy your time in your college?

Actually, I am so regretful that I can not go to your college and enjoy my experience with you, Andy and some of my friends.
{I am sorry that...join you, Andy and other friends}

Here is the map of Canada which I spent a lot of on it on October 1,2007.
{sorry, where is your map? Or you want to say: I have attached the map of Canada. I have spent...the last bit is confusing}

I know this map is rather simple, but it expresses the desire of my heart ! So,I hope you will love it and take care of it as you love your boyfriend , also this letter.
{not sure what do u mean by this}

I mean it ! I want to further{continue} my study in Canada, which is the {most} wonderful place to study and live, {.}

has a worldwide reputation of abundant natural resources and terrific quality of education.. I know this plan is difficult and hard to come true however, I am confident of getting a satisfying mark in the IELTS examination . Well, similarly,if you stick to your goals , I am sure that you can do it too. Why not have a try , if you say “Yes, I can do it”, this is the confidence we have in approaching success. {Confidence will make you success.}

I will pray that you will keep passion on your study in the rest day of your life, and you will do a good job in this semester.
{Keep your passion on your study. I believe you will do a good job in the coming semester.}

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you .”-Bible

毒哥哥00

My revised version:
Dear sister L,
    How are you these days? Did you enjoy your time in your college? Actually, I am so regretful for not going to your college and enjoying my experience with you, Andy and some of my friends. Here is the map of Canada on which I spent a lot on October 1,2007. I know the map is rather simple, but it expresses the desire of my heart ! So,I hope you will love it and take care of it as you love your boyfriend. I mean it ! I want to further my study in Canada, which is the wonderful place to study and live in, and it has a worldwide reputation of abundant natural resources and terrific quality of education. I know this plan is hard to come true, however, I am confident of getting a satisfying mark in the IELTS examination. Well, similarly,if you stick to your goals , I am sure that you can do it too. Why not have a try , if you say “Yes, I can do it”, this is the confidence we have in approaching success. I will pray that you will keep passion on your study in the rest days of your life, and you will do better in this semester. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you .”-Bible

sunroom

楼主啊，一楼的意思还有，英文不习惯于把本是不同段落的内容放在同一段落，你却又把各段拼在一起了。我也有这个毛病呢，正在学习中。不过私人信件，还是放弃阅读内容。