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In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the “unpardonable1.”
最近在我执教的一个成人班级里,我干了一件“不可饶恕的”事情。
I gave the class homework!
我居然给班上的学生布置了一份家庭作业!
The assignment was to “go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them.
任务是“下周之内要走到你所爱的人面前,告诉他们你爱他。
It has to be someone you have never said those words to before
此人必须是一位此前你从未对之说过此话的对象,
or at least haven''t shared those words with for a long time.”
或至少很久没有与他们交流过这些爱意盎然的话语了。”
Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35
听起来这不像是一份苛刻的任务,直到你意识到这个班里多数男生已年逾35岁。
and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not “macho.”
何况在他们成长的那个年代,他们受到的是这样的灌输:流露情感没有“阳刚之气”。
Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done.
人们不会轻易流露情感和哭泣(老天也不允!)。
So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
因此对某些人来说,这是一项令人生畏的任务。
At the beginning of our next class,
第二次上课一开始,
I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them.
我就问:当你告诉别人你爱他/她时,结果怎样?有没有人愿意讲一讲?
I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case,
我满心指望像平常一样,某位女士能自告奋勇,
but on this evening one of the men raised his hand.
但是这天晚上,一位男士举起了手。
He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
他看上去很受感动的样子,还有一点颤抖。
As he unfolded out of his chair(all 6 2\" of him),
当他从座椅上直起身来时(他身高6英尺2英寸),
he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment.
他这样说道:“丹尼斯,上周你给我们布置任务时,我很生你的气。
I didn`t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides,
我认为我没有什么人需要我说那些话,而且,
who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?
你是谁?凭什么让我们去干这种涉及隐私的事?
“But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me.
“但我驱车回家时,我的良知开始与我对话。
It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.
它告诉我,我确实知道需要向谁说‘我爱你'这句话。
You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time.
“你瞧,5年前,我与父亲发生了激烈的争执,而且从此再也没有消除隔阂。
We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings.
我们互相回避,除非绝对必须出席圣诞节聚会或其他的家庭聚会。
But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.
但甚至在那些场合,我们彼此几乎也不说一句话。
“So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
“因此,上周二到家时,我确信自己做得不对,打算告诉父亲我爱他。 |
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