有趣的英文笑话集锦

corundum

接受楼下的批评，题目改成“有趣的英文笑话集锦”。
有空时会继续发些帖子，笑声中学英语。

Genre: Entertainment Jokes

By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. \"You've got to have a room somewhere\", he pleaded with a proprietor. \"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he is an Air Force guy\" admitted the manager, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.
\" No problem.\" the tired Army guy assured him, \"I'll take it.\" The next morning the soldier came down to breakfasts bright-eyed and bushy tailed. \"How'd you sleep?\" asked the manager. \"Never better\", said the soldier. The manager was impressed. \"No problem with the other guy snoring all night long?\" \"No, I shut him up in no time\", explained the soldier.
\"How'd you manage that?\" asked the proprietor.
\"Well, he was already in bed, snoring away, when I walked into the room, so I gave him a kiss on the cheek\" explained the soldier. “Then, I whispered in his ear 'Good night beautiful', and he sat up all night watching me.\"

kkthk

那家伙打呼噜，这个士兵就去亲了他一下，那家伙以为这个士兵是个同性恋，吓得不敢睡觉，看了他一晚上。

corundum

zephyr

这个需要讨论么

corundum

再来一个有趣的笑话。

Genre: Farmer Jokes

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.
He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...let's throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom." The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.
They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.
One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.
About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said "naw, that can't be my goat...he was chained to a railroad tie."

corundum

再来一个：
Genre: Animal Jokes

Did you hear about the two explorers, Bob and John who were going through the jungle when a ferocious lion jumped out in front of them?
Bob whispered to John to keep calm. Bob asked John if he remembered what they had read in the book on wild animals. “If you stand absolutely still and look the lion straight in the eye, he will turn tails and run away,” said Bob. John said, “Fine. You’ve read the book, I’ve read the book, but has the lion read the book?”

corundum

Genre: Kid Jokes

In a Classroom the teacher asks; Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

corundum

Genre: Police Jokes

“Hi, police department? I’ve lost my cat and …
“Sorry lady, this is not a police job, we are too busy…
“But you don’t understand… this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human.
He can practically talk.”
“Well, you’d better hang up, lady. He may be trying to call you right now.”

corundum

Genre: Police Jokes

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

corundum

Genre: Work Jokes

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What's the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears." The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company. As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's so touchy with the ear thing." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth did you know that, son?" "What? Are you stupid? You can't wear glasses, you've got no ears!"

木莲

倒数第二个看过中文版的，但没想到读英文版的也照样挺好玩的

corundum

难得看到有人回帖，再来一个。　　

Genre： Elderly Jokes

　　"How was your game， dear？" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well， I was hitting pretty well， but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went，" he answered. "But you're 75 years old， Jack！" admonished his wife， "Why don't you take my brother Scott along？" "But he's 85 and doesn't play golf anymore，" protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you，" Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it？" asked Jack. "Yup，" Scott answered. "Well， where is it？" yelled Jack， peering off into the distance. "I forgot."

corundum

　　Genre： Family Jokes
    A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes， the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked； "Why do you have some grey strands in your hair？"
     The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey， I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty， you better obey."
     The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother？" She sweetly asked again. "Yes？" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all grey？"