英语笑话几则

corundum

The Absent-minded Professor
  Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!
  Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?
  Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.
  心不在焉的教授
  心不在焉的教授：天哪！有人偷了我的钱包！
  妻子：你难道没感觉到一只手伸进你的口袋？
  心不在焉的教授：感觉到了，可我还以为那是我的手呢。
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　　A lady walked into a hat shop,The shopkeeper smiled said, 'Good afternoon,madam.'
　　'Good afternoon,'the lady answered.'There is a green hat with red flowers and blue laces on it in your window.Will you please take it out of there.'
　　'Yes madam,'the shopkeeper said.'I will be very pleased to do that for you.'
　　'Do you want it in a box,madam,'he asked,'or will you wear it?'
　　'Oh I don't want it,'she answered.'I only wanted you to take it out of your window.I pass your shop every day,and I hate to see the ugly thing there!'
　　
　　　　　　 　　绿帽子
　　
　　一天一位女士走进一家帽店。店主微笑着说：“下午好，夫人。”
　　“下午好，”女士回答，“橱窗里有一顶绿帽子，上面有红色的花和蓝色的叶子，是否请你把她拿下来。”
　　“好的，夫人，”店主说，“乐意为你效劳。”
　　“你是想要把它装在盒子里，夫人”他问，“还是要戴上它？”
　　“哦，我不想要它，”她回答道，“我只是要你把它从橱窗里拿走，我每天都从你店前经过，我讨厌看见那难看的东西在那儿放着。

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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by the flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.'Do you always carry such heavy luggage?' she sighed.
　　'No more,'the man said.'Next time, I'm hiding in the bag, and my parter can buy the ticket!'
　　
　　　　　　 　　行李
　　
　　一个商人拖着他那鼓鼓囊囊的特大号旅行袋登上飞机，真够费劲的。 在一位机务乘员的帮助下， 他终于设法将旅行袋进了头顶上的行李箱。“您总是携带这么重的行李？”她叹息道。
　　“再也不会了，”那人说道，“下次，我待在旅行袋内，我的同伴买票！”