紧急求助啊!

genhao7

我的毕业论文今天就要交上了,可是那个摘要实在是很有难度,请各位大虾花个几分钟帮我弄一下,小的先感激不尽了!
企业管理人员系统思维能力及其开发研究
Research on the systematic thinking Of Enterprise managers

摘要：系统思维在企业管理人员的素质结构中占有重要地位。本文在通过明确系统思维的含义，企业管理人员系统思维能力开发的必要，综合前人研究的理论成果并分析其中的原因的基础上，结合理论知识的学习与行动学习理论，运用多种培训方法和系统思维开发工具，进一步提出了切实可行的开发企业管理人员系统思维能力的方法和对策。以期企业能够在管理人员的系统思维能力开发上有进一步的认识，并在实际开发工作有所借鉴。
Abstract：The systematic thinking occupies an important position in the quality structure of managerial talents.
关键词：系统思维 系统思维能力 管理人员开发


这个题目好象翻译得也有问题,觉得摘要的后面几句因为有很多动词开头,实在是..........

呵呵,不敢,你找斑竹啊. 他一定能无偿帮助你,很热心的人哦

genhao7

算了 还是自己弄吧

觉得自己挺无耻的....................

evermario

我来尝试一下改改题目，正好练习练习
先翻译题目：
企业管理人员系统思维能力及其开发研究
A Study on the Systematic Mind and its Development for Enterprise Managers

请园主大人指教！

丹浩翔

试着翻译了一下

企业管理人员系统思维能力及其开发研究

摘要：系统思维在企业管理人员的素质结构中占有重要地位。本文在通过明确系统思维的含义，企业管理人员系统思维能力开发的必要，综合前人研究的理论成果并分析其中的原因的基础上，结合理论知识的学习与行动学习理论，运用多种培训方法和系统思维开发工具，进一步提出了切实可行的开发企业管理人员系统思维能力的方法和对策。以期企业能够在管理人员的系统思维能力开发上有进一步的认识，并在实际开发工作有所借鉴。

Managers' ability of System Thinking and it's research

1 Abstract：The ability of System Thinking takes important part in the managers' quality strucure. The thesis, which is on the base of defining System Thinking, explaining the importance of researching the ability of that, and making a comprehensive analysis of the earlier theories, comes up with the actual and feasible method and countermeasure to research on the managers' ability of System Thinking by the way of having used lots of training methods and development tools for system thinking,and integrading with theories we learned about activity learning. It's expected that the thesis would help the enterprise to get more knowledge in researching on managers' ability of System Thinking, and could be used as reference in actual development work.

2 Abstract：The ability of System Thinking takes important part in the managers' quality strucure. The thesis defines System Thinking, explains the importance of researching on the ability of that, and makes a comprehensive analysis of the earlier theories. Then, through we having integreted with theories learned, and making use of a lot training methods and developmet tools for System Thinking, it's come up with the actual and feasible method and countermeasure, in order to help the enterprise getting more knowledge during researching on the managers' ability of System Thinking and be used as reference in actual development work.

自己觉得第二种变长定句从句为短句的翻译方法比较好一些，便于阅读理解。

pharm.d

引用第4楼丹浩翔于2007-05-30 21:59发表的 :
2 Abstract：The ability of System Thinking takes important part(I would use "plays an important role".) in the managers' quality strucure. The thesis defines System Thinking, explains the importance of researching on the ability of that, and makes a comprehensive analysis of the earlier theories. Then("Furthermore" sounds more academic and professional.), through we having integreted with theories learned, and making use of a lot training methods and developmet tools for System Thinking, it's(It is not recommended to use abbreviations in formal essays.) come up with the actual and feasible method and countermeasure, in ord(order) to help the enterprise getting(Grammar-wise, "help...get..." is the correct expression.) more knowledge during researching on the managers' ability of System Thinking and be used as reference in actual development work.

I don't know anything about management...  Hence I have to focus on your use of the English language.
Hope it helps.

丹浩翔

"in ord to "应作in order to, 小丹笔误,打错了.已经改正.

中学时就学过有help sb (to) do sth.和help sb doing sth,这两种用法,意思基本一致,只是后者多指一贯或将长期持续的状态(老师当年是这么分析的,我应该没有记错).

"it's come up with....."是"it has come up with"的缩写,不是it is的,

play an important role 比take important part in 表达得更准确,呵呵,谢谢楼上朋友的指点.

bookish

小丹英语写得很流畅啊。

“自己觉得第二种变长定句从句为短句的翻译方法比较好一些，便于阅读理解。”很对。这里牵涉到摘要写法的中英文不同风格。

中文的特点是简洁，在摘要中体现得尤为过分。如果直接翻译，变成英语之后常常会让人不可理解。楼主给出的中文其实只有两句（倒数第二个句号应为逗号），如果写成英语，按这样的句子结构还会使摘要失去重点。

“结合理论知识的学习与行动学习理论，运用多种培训方法和系统思维开发工具，进一步提出了切实可行的开发企业管理人员系统思维能力的方法和对策”的英语写法还可以变为列举文章成果的写法，比如：切实可行的开发企业管理人员系统思维能力的方法和对策在本文中被进一步提出。这一方法结合了理论知识的学习与行动学习理论，运用了多种培训方法和系统思维开发工具。

又，5楼关于help的用法是对的。help M (to) + inf : 帮助M做，有助于M做，促进M做。
特别是get 不是持续的动作。help + ing有特别用法，小丹已提到，例如，“我忍不住大笑起来。”I couldn't help laughing. （但是，I couldn't help but laugh. 这里 laugh 是 inf.）

此外，it's research --> its development ?

5楼已经提到，科技英语不用缩略写法。

genhao7

谢谢大家了！！
我以前英语本来还不错的，可惜经过大学四年，都忘记了.............