十分怀念讲授写作课的夏天，一个个激情四射、汗流浃背的日子。写作课的课时不多，根据我授课的内容和计划，在短短10个小时内要把写作的方方面面传达给同学，从10大困境及相关对策，到四大类题型构思与创作技巧，从高分句型讲到功能段落，从历年真题的考点到结构、思维和语言，从图画讲到图表再到情景和信函……同学们听得津津有味，结课时，却总感觉意犹未尽，似乎少了点什么。的确，课堂上理论和典型范文都分析了，也全面阐释了句型模式和写作提高的各种训练方法，惟独由于时间有限，没有进行大量语言细节的现场训练，而写作的提高恰恰需要大量细节的分析和磨练，想到此至今还有些愧疚，一直想完成这个未完成的使命。课堂上一个重要的主题是关于英语创作的重要规律——seeking variety (追求语言丰富多变)。如何追求变化？课堂上来不及细说，下面举一个具体的例子，是我随机选出的两句话，从各种角度给出句型转换的方式，提供一些思路，算是我对各位同学的补偿吧。
下面例句选自一篇考研图画作文范文，主题是讽刺滥用简化字（simplified character ）的现象。图画描述一个“展销会”的指示牌被简化成了“尸销会”，两名过路人受到惊吓、当场晕菜的场面。图画作文的首段往往要求进行图画场景描述，范文的开篇就有了这样两句话：
The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard, and being shocked at the message. This is because the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”.
语法错误
首先需要纠正的是句子出现的一个语法错误：第2句一开始，在This is之后使用了because引导的原因状语从句, 不符合语法要求。一般情况下，后面往往接名词性结构或形容词性结构作表语。此处只是作者想当然地把汉语“这是因为”生硬地翻译了出来，属于典型的Chinglish，口语中倒是屡见不鲜，而写作中则要有严格的语法观念，不能使用这样的表达。
This is because the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”.
可修改为表语从句形式：The reason is that the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies.”
词语变化
段首句的picture、show和后面的shock可以选用其它同义词替换：
picture / cartoon / caricature
show / describe / depict / illustrate / portray
shock / amaze / astound / astonish /surprise
段首句变化
图画作文的段首句往往是“如图所示”或“从图画中可以看出”之类，下面为经常采用的一些句型：
As is shown in the picture,
As can be seen from the picture,
It is vividly shown in the picture that……
We can see in this picture that ……
It is of considerable interest to see in the bizarre picture that……
因果表达变化
由于第二个句子是揭示原因的，英语表达中的因果关系词又非常丰富，所以句子改造就有了多种可能，感兴趣的同学不妨来个脑筋急转弯，用以下表达来试试你的创造力（此处大概有20种可能的因果变化）：
因果关系表达：as, since, because, for, for the reason that, the reason(why…) is that, due to, because of, as a result of, on account of, so, thus, therefore, as a result, that’s why, cause, lead to, result in, result from, attribute…to…, be responsible for
例1： The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard, and being shocked at the message due to the advertisement of a “sale of the dead bodies”.
例2：The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard. Their being shocked at the message can be attributed to the advertisement of a “sale of the dead bodies”.
句式转换
为了加强同学们对语法知识在写作中的灵活应用，下面给出14种句式及语言调整的效果，内容上没有太大差异，只是请辨别每句话所侧重的句式：
1．表语从句
The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard, and being shocked at the message. The reason is that the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”.
2．介词短语
In the picture, two people are reading the announcement and they are being shocked at the message of “a sale of dead bodies” on a billboard.
3．疑问句
The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard. Why are they so shocked? The reason is that the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”.
4．原因状语从句
The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard. As the billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”, they are shocked at the message.
5．结果状语从句
The picture shows two people reading the announcement on a billboard. The billboard is advertising a “sale of the dead bodies” so that they are shocked at the message.
6．时间状语从句
in the picture, while the two people are reading the announcement on the billboard about “a sale of the dead bodies”, they are being deeply shocked.
7．分词短语
In the picture, reading the message of a ‘sale of the dead bodies” advertised on the billboard, the two people are deeply shocked.
8．主动语态
In the picture, the announcement on a billboard advertising a “sale of the dead bodies” shocks the two people reading it.
9．There be 结构
In the picture, there is an announcement on a billboard advertising a “sale of the dead bodies” and shocking the two people reading it.
10．倒装句
On a billboard is an announcement advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”. The two people reading it are being shocked.
11．定语从句
In the picture, the announcement on a billboard which advertises a “sale of the dead bodies” shocks the two people reading it.
12．强调句
In the picture, it is the announcement on a billboard advertising a “sale of the dead bodies” that shocks the two people reading it.
13．虚拟语气
In the picture, were it not for the announcement on the billboard advertising a “sale of the dead bodies”, the two people would not be so shocked.
14．复杂书面语
It is of considerable interest to observe in this bizarre caricature that a couple of citizens, reading an announcement issued on the billboard, are taken aback as a result of the astounding message which informs people of a “sale of dead bodies”.
句中使用的词组包括：be of considerable interest, a couple of, taken aback, as a result of, inform sb. of
长句采用的特殊语法包括：宾语从句+分词结构做插入语+分词作后置定语（issued）+被动语态+原因短语+定语从句
句式转换可以考虑的方式
如果大家对句型转换依然缺乏信心，我就为大家提供以下的思路作为参考。一般来说，以下12种措施是可以考虑的。可以根据句子的内容特点进行灵活置换。
1．主动句与被动句的转换
2．There be 结构的采用；It is放在句首的形式
3．同位语的设置
4．疑问句形式
5．否定和双重否定形式
6．倒装句形式
7．强调句形式
8．虚拟语气形式
9．各类从句形式
（六大类从句：主语从句、表语从句、宾语从句、定语从句、状语从句、同谓语从句。其中状语从句可以考虑9种：时间状语从句、地点状语从句、让步状语从句、原因状语从句、结果状语从句、目的状语从句、条件状语从句、方式状语从句、比较状语从句）
10．连续短句和长句之间的转换
11．简单用词和书面语词组、固定句型的转换
12．修辞形式的考虑，如比喻和排比
好，再改下去就眼花缭乱了，如果加上各种措词或修辞现象的斟酌，版本会越来越多。想必“尸销展”看多了也有点恐怖气氛。随意选上两句话开始brainstorm，对这些句子搞个外科手术吧，挑战极限，一试身手，你真会为丰富多彩的英语语言欢呼呢 |
发表于 2007-5-13 11:51:08
