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[【其它】] 非常经典的经济学家的笑话

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发表于 2006-2-23 00:08:17 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
以下是非常经典的经济学家的笑话,其中关于换灯泡的部分不太了解经济学的可能觉得不好笑,不过要是学过一点就会         


An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.


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Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.


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Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!


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Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. \"The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.\"


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Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.


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Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, \"We got it! We got it!\"


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Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?

A: Too early to say.


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Q: What do economists and computers have in common?

A: You need to punch information into both of them.


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Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?

A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.


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Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?

A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.


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NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An \"acceptable\" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.


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Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?

A: To reach the consensus forecast.


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Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?

A: Deflator mouse


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Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.


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Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.


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Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It depends on the wage rate.


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Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.


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Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.


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Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None - the market has already discounted the change.


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Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?

A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.


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Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.


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When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.


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Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.


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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven plus or minus ten.


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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.


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Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?

A: The economist is the one with the calculator.


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Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?

A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground


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Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.


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Q: Why did God create economists?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.


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Q: What does an economist do?

A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.


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Two economists meet on the street.

One inquires, \"How's your wife?\"

The other responds, \"Relative to what?\"


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To an economist, real life is a special case.


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Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.


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Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.


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When an economist says the evidence is \"mixed,\" he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.


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Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion.\"


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Q: Why has astrology been invented?

A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
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发表于 2006-2-23 17:37:44 | 显示全部楼层
  一天,两位年轻有为的经济学天才去散步,一边继续争论经济学问题
。忽然,路边出现一滩狗屎。学长对学弟说:你吃掉这滩狗屎,我给你5000
万。学弟一听动了心,忍一时之苦之辱,增加纯收入5000万,应该算是有
理性的经济行为。就趴下吭哧吭哧地强忍着把狗屎吃了下去。学长有点后
悔,但是又不好说什么。虽然近年来经济学家们与权钱亲密合作,都成了
千万亿万富翁,但一下子输掉5000万不好跟妻妾交代。

  两人继续散步,但气氛已有点儿尴尬。

  不料又看到了一滩狗屎。学长微笑道:看看,又来了一个5000万!学
弟顿觉腹中翻江倒海,恶臭直冲霄汉,忍不住反唇相讥,说你把这滩吃掉
,我也给你5000万!学长一听,赶紧趴下就吃,生怕学弟一反悔,5000万
就挣不回来了。

  有顷,两位经济学天才相对而视,突然放声大哭:招谁惹谁了?什么
也没得着,白白吃了两滩狗屎!

  两位青年才俊怎么也想不透背后的经济学秘密,只好去求教他们的导
师。不料这位身居高位的经济学泰斗也大放悲声,好不易止住眼泪,兴奋
地用颤抖的声音对两位得意门生说道:我代表全国各族人民感谢你们啊!
你们仅仅吃了两滩狗屎,转瞬之间,就为我国的经济发展贡献了一个亿,
一个亿啊!
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发表于 2006-2-23 21:03:55 | 显示全部楼层
是呵...经商算计的人生本来就是吃屎呀?     
可惜了偶没有经商的头脑啦..吃不着..~~
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发表于 2006-2-23 23:11:30 | 显示全部楼层

Re:闈炲父缁忓吀鐨勭粡娴庡?瀹剁殑绗戣瘽

hehe,宸查槄
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发表于 2006-2-24 02:13:20 | 显示全部楼层
经济学结论基本属于狗屎。

有拉狗屎、狗拉屎、拉屎狗。


哈哈,纳什为何疯,寂寞。
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