一首诗歌的翻译与比较
Autumn Within心里的秋天
It is autumn; not without
But within me is the cold.
Youth and spring are all about;
It is I that have grown old.
秋天如常
我心凄凉
青春不再 ；
我已长老。
Birds are darting through the air,
Singing, building without rest;
Life is stirring everywhere,
Save within my lonely breast.
鸟飞高空
欢歌建屋
生机盎然，
我心孤独
There is silence: the dead leaves
Fall and rustle and are still;
Beats no flail upon the sheaves,
Comes no murmur from the mill.
静寂如常
枯叶落忙
连枷收藏
水车无语。
附加：杨德豫的翻译
秋天来了-----不是在外界
是我心里感到了凄凉
四处都是青春和美景
只有我已经老迈苍苍
鸟儿在空中振翅飞行
歌唱筑巢片刻不停
生机活跃在每个角落
除了我这孤寂的心灵
这里是一片宁静枯叶
下坠，沙沙响终于沉寂
听不到连枷拍打稻粱
也没有水车喁语的声息 欢迎诗歌爱好者帮助翻译的修改和参入讨论 查了查资料，是朗费罗Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)收录在1882年诗集In the Harbor的一首诗。
楼主用四言的格式，很容易联想起古老的诗经。
对以“连枷收藏”来对译Beats no flail upon the sheaves,也许用麦穗不滤/磨坊无语会更加贴近原文。 我觉得楼主这句“Youth and spring are all about”译为“青春不再”不是很贴切。
下面是查的资料，人家是这样翻译的，供楼主参考：
It is autumn; not without, 秋天、正值秋天，
But within me is the cold. 但吾心已是严寒。
Youth and spring are all about; 四周都是青春，
It is I that have grown old. 而吾已是暮年。
Birds are darting through the air, 鸟儿穿梭飞翔，
Singing, building without rest; 唱歌、筑巢正忙。
Life is stirring everywhere, 处处生命迹象,
Save within my lonely breast. 填吾孤独心房。
There is silence: the dead leaves也有寂静景象：
Fall and rustle and are still; 枯叶落、沙沙响，
Beats no flail upon the sheaves, 悠悠飘撒树根旁。
Comes no murmur from the mill. 磨坊不再呢喃唱。
It is autumn; not without
But within me is the cold.
Youth and spring are all about;
It is I that have grown old.
秋天如常
我心凄凉
青春不再 ；
我已长老。
韵式与原诗不合，意义也有点走样。
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