翻译练习兼批评
At 7 p.m. there was still no sign of the ship. Abraham Brill, my friend and fellow physician, was waiting at the harbor for the same reason as I.傍晚七点，仍没见到任何船只的桅帆。我的朋友和同是医生的亚伯拉罕·布里尔在港口等待的理由也跟我一样。
[这处问题有二：“我的朋友和同是医生的亚伯拉罕·布里尔”汉语本身存在歧义；
并且，英语原文的主干是“亚伯拉罕·布里尔也等待”，李译者的译法殊难认同。]
A ridiculous premonition came to me that the George Washington had run aground in the fog, her twenty-five hundred European passengers drowning at the foot of the Statue of Liberty.
我心中起了一个荒唐的念头：乔治·华盛顿号在迷雾中触礁了，两百五十个欧洲乘客在自由女神像脚下被淹没。
All at once, the vast white ship appeared—not as a dot on the horizon, but mammoth, emerging from the mist full-blown before our eyes. The entire pier, with a collective gasp, drew back at the apparition.
刹那间，巨大的白色轮船——不像地平线上的细点那样、而是猛犸般——从我们眼前的迷雾冒出来。整个码头被吓了一跳，齐声发出惊叫。
[与原文作个比较，就会发现译文其实是非常怪异的，格式怪异，文意怪异，另外“drew back”也未译出。
我的改译：“倏忽间，白色的巨轮突现了——它并不像是地平线上的一个细点，而更像一头猛犸，从我们眼皮底下的迷雾中冒了出来。整个码头在这幕异景前齐声发出尖叫，往后退却。”]
The first of the trio was a distinguished, immaculately groomed, gray-haired, and gray-bearded gentleman whom I knew at once to be the Viennese psychiatrist Dr. Sigmund Freud.
三人中领头的是须发灰白的男子，双眉紧锁，我立刻认出他就是那个维也纳的心理分析专家，西格蒙德·弗洛伊德大夫。
Eighteen months later, the mayor had to repeat the same ceremony at the fifty-story Metropolitan Life tower on Twenty-fourth Street.
十八个月后，市长不得不在第42号街高达五十层的“都市生活”大楼重复了同样的仪式。
[对照原文，此处又是厉害了，偷龙转凤，Twenty-fourth Street成了42街。]
His investors had advanced $6,000,000 toward its construction, of which he had kept not a penny, scrupulously remitting the entire amount to the builder, the American Steel and Fabrication Company.
投资人为工程筹集600万美元，他分文不取，精打细算地把钱都转给承建商，美国钢铁建筑公司。
[这处的问题出在汉语上，“他分文不取，精打细算地把钱都转给承建商，美国钢铁建筑公司。”合汉语用法吗？我认为“他分文不取，精打细算地把钱都转给承建商——美国钢铁建筑公司。”才是正确的写法。]
On January 1, 1909, six months before the Balmoral was to open, Mr. Banwell announced that all but two of the apartments were already let.
1909年元旦那天，距离巴尔摩罗开门揖客尚有半年，邦威先生宣布公寓近乎售罄，仅剩两套。
[翻译是件细腻活，这处就是个很好的例证。“近乎售罄”、“were already let”，其实“Let”只有出租的意思，并非出售。而且上文中也有“租金耸人听闻，高达每月495美元”以作佐证。译作“近乎租尽”更合文意。]
her wrists tied together over her head, and her throat embraced by another binding, a man’s white silk tie, which a strong hand was making tight, exceedingly tight, causing her to choke.
她的手腕被绑在头顶，而喉咙缠着另外一根带子，白色的丝质男用领带，一只强健的手将之勒紧，越来越紧，令她窒息。
[恕我理解不了“她的手腕被绑在头顶”的样子，另外“而喉咙缠着另外一根带子，白色的丝质男用领带，”同样不合汉语规则，“而喉咙缠着另外一根带子——一条白色的丝质领带”更合常规]
His suit was of excellent cloth, with a watch chain and cravat in the continental style.
他的西装用料上乘，系着怀表链和欧洲大陆风格的领带。
Jung, who was about thirty-five, made a markedly different impression. He was better than six feet tall, unsmiling, blue-eyed, dark-haired, with an aquiline nose, a pencil-thin mustache, and a great expanse of forehead—quite attractive to women, I should have thought, although he lacked Freud’s ease.
约莫三十五岁的荣格给我留下了非常不同的印象。他身高超过六英尺，不苟言笑，蓝眼珠，黑头发，鼻子弯曲，留着小胡子，天庭饱满——我得承认，这对女人颇有吸引力。
[何谓“鼻子弯曲”，莫非是荣格长着个歪鼻子？其实就是“鹰钩鼻”
另外，“I should have thought, although he lacked Freud’s ease”跑哪儿去了，李译者漏译了。]
“Capital,” said Freud. “You won’t believe it: I found a steward reading my Psychopathology of Everyday Life.”
“No!” Brill replied. “Ferenczi must have put him up to it.”
“很棒。”弗洛伊德说：“说来你不相信，我发现有个水手在看我的《日常生活的精神病理学》。”
“我信，”布里尔回答说：“肯定是费伦齐怂恿他看的。”
[这处的错误更是显而易见，“我信，”布里尔回答说：“肯定是费伦齐怂恿他看的。”，既然信了，干嘛还说是有人怂恿水手看的呢？]
The victim’s wrists, crossed and suspended together over her head, were so slight, her fingers so graceful, her long legs so demure.
受害人的手腕交叉被吊在头顶，绑得很紧，她的手指是那么优雅，修长的腿是那么端庄。
The girl winced as the gentlest possible stroke was administered to one of her bare thighs.
女孩的大腿被极其轻柔地划过，她身子一缩。
Gently but implacably, the silk tie around the girl’s throat drew tighter.
缓慢而坚定地，缠着女孩喉咙的丝带变得越来越紧，紧得她几乎无法呼吸。
[silk tie，前译早就交待清楚，是条“丝质领带”，此处何以又成了“丝带”呢？
另外，“紧得她几乎无法呼吸”，何来之有？]
She felt a hand on her mouth, its fingers running lightly over her lips. Then those fingers drew the silk tie yet tighter, so that even her choking stopped.
她感觉嘴巴里有只手，手指轻轻抚弄她的舌头，然后那些手指将丝带拉得更紧，紧得她连气都噎不出来。
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