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老外直言 Elizabeth Spahn（美国）
姑娘们，今天可以求婚
本文作者是美国富布赖特交流计划教授，女，现在北京大学任教。
姑娘们，系好跑鞋的鞋带，四年才有一次的机会来啦，而你又不想错过它，你
能猜出那是什么吗？
A）在奥林匹克运动会上拚搏的机会；B）你最喜欢的商店大减价；C）得到了在
一家大公司通常只给予男性的通向管理岗位的工作机会；D）向意中的男人求婚的机
会。
如果你猜的是D，那就猜对啦！
过去，在男人外出工作女人在家操持家务的时代，有教养的姑娘只能待字闺中，
一直等到某男友来求婚。但在美国中部地带，妇女不满这种被动的角色，那些充当
开拓者角色的女性与勇敢的牛仔姑娘们认为，如果她们十分强悍，足以在西部边界
生存，那就应该有机会自己挑选丈夫，特别是有些西部牛仔太腼腆（或者说太木），
羞于讲话，不好意思向女孩求婚。
四年一回的闰年2月29日这天，被认为是女孩可以向男孩求婚的日子。我还记得
祖母对我说过，她的一些女友焦急地等待着闰年的到来，并且想象着意中人是接受
还是拒绝自己的求婚。
到了20世纪30年代，美国著名的报纸卡通漫画家阿尔·卡普创作出了名为《小
阿伯那尔》的系列卡通漫画，惊人地受欢迎。该漫画描绘了一群滑稽的乡下人，他
们住在虚构的道格帕赤小镇。其中的一个人物是丑姑娘赛迪·霍金斯。赛迪在家等
着男友来求婚，左等右等等烦了，于是她爸爸———道格帕赤镇的镇长就宣布一年
中有一天为“赛迪·霍金斯节”，在这一天，所有未婚的姑娘在赛跑中追上未婚的
小伙子，就可以向他求婚。最初，在卡通漫画中的赛迪·霍金斯节是在11月，但是
渐渐的，这一赛事与闰年结合在一起。
在过去的四十多年中，赛迪·霍金斯节赛跑及闰年2月29日在美国的很多中学及
大学都加以庆祝。男孩子与女孩子穿上破旧的打了补钉的乡村衣服，如果天气暖和，
他们还打赤脚，戴上很傻气的大草帽，上面还插着难看的塑料花。通常这一传统有
所变通，女孩不是向选中的男孩求婚，而是请他们在舞会上跳舞。还有些学校举办
女孩追赶男孩的赛跑，女孩要努力追上她最喜欢的男孩（或者，至少男孩会在他喜
欢的女孩前面很慢地跑）。
在我上高中的时候，这一节日是一年中最受欢迎的社交活动。早在现代女权主
义帮助人们打破过去的僵化习惯之前，每个人实际上就已经喜欢这种角色的转换了。
男孩们喜欢不必冒被拒绝的风险而和女孩约会，而女孩也享受到了最终有机会选择
意中男孩所带来的激动。那种怕被拒绝的恐惧感是十分强烈的，特别是那些羞涩的
女孩子们就更加胆怯。但是同伴们的压力（再加上由于穿着怪诞服装所引起的笑声）
就使得我们能顺利渡过心理难关。
如今，我觉得美国不会有太多的学校还过传统的赛迪·霍金斯节。我18岁的女
儿并没有通过在公共场合举行赛跑、邀请男孩参加舞会这类正式的仪式来向意中人
示意，而是通过其他方式想方设法吸引她意中男孩的注意力。我儿子17岁了，也经
常接到朋友们的电话，其中不少是女孩们打来的，邀他出去看电影或是去吃汉堡包。
性别的角色已不再像过去那样严格，再者，取笑可怜的“赛迪”（她的确很丑），
也绝不是友善的行为。
但是这一天的确很有趣。看着某个可怜的男孩子面对平日里甚至连得到其喜欢
都未曾想的女孩的约会邀请，完全让他猝不及防，那种脸红结巴的窘状，实在令人
开怀，更不用说在男孩子接受邀请后所看到的女孩子那快乐的笑容了。
Lace up your running shoes, gals! It's an opportunity
that only happens once every four years, and you don't want
to miss it! Can you guess what it is??
a) a chance to compete in the Olympics?
b) a big sale at your favorite store?
c) a chance to get a management track job normally
reserved for men only in a high-status corporation?
d) a chance to propose marriage to the man of your
choice?
If you guessed \"d\" you are correct!?
In the \"old days\", when men were men and women were not,
a properly brought up young lady had to wait until her beau
(an old-fashioned word for boyfriend) proposed marriage to her.
But in the American heartland, women were not content with
such a passive role. Pioneer women and brave cowgirls
thought if they were strong enough to survive the Western
frontiers, they ought to have a chance to chose their own
husbands, especially since some of those Western cowpokes
were too shy (or too dumb) to speak up and ask the gal to
get hitched. ?
Once every four years, on February 29 in the leap year,
it was considered acceptable for a girl to ask the boy to
get married. I remember my grandmother telling me about some
of her girlfriends anxiously waiting for the leap year to
roll around, and trying to figure out if the intended boy
would accept or reject the proposal.
Then in the 1930s, a very famous American newspaper
cartoon artist, Al Capp, created the amazingly popular cartoon
strip called Lil Abner, depicting the antics of group of
country bumpkins1 living in the tiny, fictional town of
Dogpatch. One of the characters was a very ugly girl named
\"Sadie Hawkins.\" Sadie got tired of waiting for one of the
boys to propose marriage to her, so her father, the mayor of
Dogpatch declared one day a year \"Sadie Hawkins Day\", On
that day, any unmarried girl who caught an unmarried boy
could propose marriage to him. Originally the Sadie Hawkins'
Day race was run in the cartoon strip in November, but over
time this event merged with the leap year tradition.?
For the past forty years or so, the Sadie Hawkins Day
Race and leap year have been celebrated in many American high
schools and colleges. Boys and girls dress up in country-style
clothes all ripped and torn, with patches, and if it's warm
enough, go around barefoot wearing silly big straw hats with
ugly plastic flowers in them. Usually the tradition is
modified, so that instead of marriage, the girls are expected
to invite the boy of their choice to a party for dancing.
Other schools have a race in which the girls chase the boys,
with each girl trying to catch the boy she likes best (or
at least the boy who runs very slowly right in front of the
girl he likes). ?
When I was in high school, this was the most popular
social event of the year. Long before modern feminism helped
to break down the rigid customs of the past, everyone really
enjoyed this gender role reversal. The boys liked not having
to take the risk of asking the girl out, and the girls
enjoyed the thrill of finally getting a chance to pick the
boy they preferred. The fear of rejection was high,
especially for the shyer girls, but peer pressure (plus
laughing at the ridiculous costumes) carried us through.?
Nowadays I don't think too many schools in America carry
on the Sadie Hawkins' Day custom. My daughter, who is 18,
manages to attract the attention of her chosen boy without
such a formal ritual as a public race or inviting him to a
dance. My son, who is 17, often receives telephone calls
from his friends, many of whom are girls, to invite him to
go out to a movie or for a hamburger. Gender roles are
not so strict as they used to be, and making fun of poor \"
Sadie\", who was really quite ugly, was never kind . ?
But the day was fun. We got a special kick out of
watching some poor boy, blushing and stammering, totally
surprised, when a girl he had no idea even liked him was
asking him out for a date.
Not to mention the sight of her happy smile if he
accepted. |
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发表于 2005-9-21 21:52:13
