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致命的大错
\"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.\"
\"Qualifications: No education or experience.\"
\"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.\"
\"My compensation should be at least equal to my age.\"
\"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.\"
\"Fired because I fought for lower pay.\"
\"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5\" .
\" \" lease disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.\"
\"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.\"
\"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.\"
打字错误与语法错误
\"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.\"
\"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.\"
\"I am a rabid typist.\"
\"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.\"
\"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.\"
\"Accounting cleric.\"
\"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.\"
\"Suspected to graduate early next year.\"
\"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.\"
\"roven ability to track down and correct erors.\"
\"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.\"
\"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.\"
\"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.\"
不应有的幽默
\"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.\"
\"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.\" (Translation: Short-order cook.)
\"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.\"
\"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.\"
\"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular.\"
\"Title: Another resume from the 'rofiles in Excellence' series.\"
\"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.\"
\"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.\"
\"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience.\" |
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发表于 2005-7-21 09:42:05
