总结过去 迎接新年

想的就是你

An Intense Experience to Ensure Your New Year is Happy

The past is good for two things: the happy memories, and the lessons it provides.

That is why as each year ends I partake in an intense experience that focuses on these values, creates an important sense of closure and helps greatly to ensure a happy New Year.

To embrace what is worthwhile from the previous year and leave the rest behind you—instead of holding onto grudges and regrets,

as so many unfortunately do much to the detriment of their emotional and physical health—and to ensure your New Year is happy, I encourage you to try this experience. And to share it with those you love.

Take some time to ponder and create two lists:

One, your Top Five Most Important Lessons Learned in the Year.

And two, your Top Five Favorite Memories of the Year.

Now before you race off to do this, read the rest of this short article. It provides important perspective on doing this.

First and foremost, remember that the key aspect of this intense experience is to “take some time to ponder” it.

In today’s go-go faster-faster world, you may be tempted to rush through this experience, to treat it like another task to get off your to-do list.

But you just invested 8760 or so hours of your life in the previous year.

To pull what is worth pulling from it, to give it proper perspective and proper closure, it surely deserves some of your focused conscious energy.

Remember the Wisdom of a Child

Maybe you lost half your investments this year. Or your job. Or your house. Or you faced health challenges. Or worse.

Well, you have two options:

One, dwell on the negative, self- defeating questions like

“How could I be so stupid?” or “How could God let this happen to me?”

Those are not really questions but unchecked emotional responses that will only drive your spirit, health, relationships and more into the ground.

Your other option is to ponder what positive lessons you were graced with from whatever you experienced in the year. And to be thankful for them, as you have the gift of life and consciousness and therefore the ability to do something with those lessons.

For example, I personally went through some very painful relationship experiences and business experiences this past year. I could choose to beat myself up over them, or point the finger at others and say, “How could you?” I could choose to drown in the pain.

But a child doesn’t touch fire, get burned, and then spend the rest of his days—or even hours— lamenting how this could have happened to him. He learns not to touch the fire and twenty minutes later he is happily playing again.

In this past year two of the things I learned, or learned even more, are that:

No matter how much you have invested, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is let go.

Deep love is hard work and worth every ounce of it.

So, whether from challenging experiences or wonderful experiences, what top five lessons did you learn from the previous year?

Don’t Bang on the Beehive

To focus on your top five (or ten, or twenty) favorite memories of the year likely seems like good advice, but not profound advice.

But as with so many sensible actions, what seems so obvious when anyone thinks about it is unfortunately not what many people tend to do.

Instead, for example, when discussing the past year I have already heard so many people stating how bad it was. I hear them recalling all the bad memories.

This follows so many people’s tendency to dwell on what is wrong, what they don’t have, what they lack.

And this is as dangerous and unhealthy as it gets. It is like banging on a beehive.

Because here is a universal law: whatever you seek, you will find plenty of.

If you are focused on bad memories, problems, and things to complain about, you will most certainly find them. They will swarm your mind,

your heart, and sting your life.

Likewise, if you are focused on good memories, the beauty in the world, and things to feel grateful for, you will most certainly find them too.

They will nourish your mind, your heart, and allow your life to



blossom.

I am grateful my son is attending college as a freshman and, all things considered, doing well. I am grateful for all the wonderful holiday gatherings with my family. I am grateful for being able to put the new Life

Story Book out there for the world. I am grateful for the beautiful woman in my life. And I am grateful for so many kind words I receive from readers of the Intense Experiences newsletter.

So what are your top five favorite memories of the past year?

What are the most important lessons you learned from the year?

Put them out there, and put your gratitude for them out there, for the world, for the universe, for God to hear.

Share them with your family, and pass this article on to those you care about and ask them to share theirs with you.

What you put out, after all, is what you get back. And that will make for a very happy New Year for you.

总结过去 迎接新年
过去的美好体现在两个方面：一是快乐的记忆；二是吸取的经验教训。

这就是为何每年年底我都会参加一次强烈情感体验活动，着眼于过去留下的这些宝贵财富，营造一种年终岁尾的感觉，重点放在肯定过去一年中好的方面，以便更好地迎接新年。

肯定过去一年中值得记忆的事情，把其它负面的一切抛在脑后，

不要过分执着于怨恨与后悔的情绪之中，而许多不幸者正是这样抱怨和后悔，结果损害自己的身心健康。为了保证快快乐乐迎接新年，我鼓励你尝试并与你所爱的人共同体验这项活动。

花些时间认真思考一下，列出两个清单：

一个是过去一年中最重要的五条经验教训；

另一个是过去一年中最美好的五个记忆。

在你列清单之前，请阅读以下内容，这会为你提供做这件事情所需的重要视角。

首要的是牢记这项体验活动的关键在于：留出充分的时间思考。

在生活节奏越来越快的今天，你可能会忍不住仓促完成这项体验活动，把它仅视为待办事项中的一件，急于完成。

但是过去一年刚刚占用了你一生当中8760个小时左右的时间，从中挑出值得纪念的时刻，并予以正确的评价和总结，当然值得你集中精力去梳理。

一、记住孩子的智慧或许你在这一年中的投资有一半亏本，或许丢了工作或住房。或许你的健康出现危机，甚至遭遇更坏的情况。

那么，如何处理情绪，你面临两种选择：

第一，脑子里老是萦绕着一些非常消极、自我挫败的问题，比如：“我怎么会这么笨？”或者“上帝怎么会让这种事发生在我身上？”等等。

其实这些问题都不是关键，要命的是那些未加克制的情感反应，

只会损耗你的精神、健康、情感等。

第二，思考一下你在过去一年的经历，有什么样的正面收获，并产生一种感恩的心态，这是因为你得到了生活的馈赠，获得了感悟，

从而拥有了利用这些经验做事的能力。

例如，我在过去的一年中有过一些非常痛苦的人际关系经历和生意场上的挫折。我可以选择因此而责备自己，或者指责他人：“你怎么能这么做？”我也可以选择沉溺于痛苦之中。

假如孩子玩火，烫了手，并且在之后的每一天（甚至每一个小时），不停懊恼为什么这种倒霉事会发生在自己身上，那就完了。孩子的态度是，他懂得不再玩火，而且在烫手二十分钟之后，他又开心地去玩耍了。

在过去的一年中，我学到了、或者说学得更牢固的两件事情是：

——无论你投入了多少，有时你能做的最有利于自己健康的事情就是放手、释怀。

——做到深爱很难，但又非常值得去做。

那么，无论过去一年的经历是极富挑战性、还是极其美好，你从中得到的最重要的五个经验教训是什么呢？

二、不要捅马蜂窝关注你上一年度最重要的五个（或十个，或二十个）美好回忆，

似乎是个不错的建议，但却没有深远意义。

不过跟很多明智的行为一样，人人都认为很明显该做的事情，却很遗憾，不是很多人愿意去做。

相反，当大家讨论过去的一年时，我曾听到很多人评价去年很糟糕，我听到他们提到了去年所有不好的回忆。

这导致的结果是：许许多多人往往挂念错误的东西，挂念他们没有的东西，挂念缺少的东西。

这种想法很危险，也是不健康的，这就像是捅了马蜂窝。

因为这里有一条普遍规律：无论你找什么东西，你都会找到很多。

如果你刻意去记起不美好的回忆、种种问题、种种抱怨，那么你肯定会发现很多这类负面的东西。它们将涌进你的大脑，涌进你的心田，并扰乱你的生活。

同样，如果你去关注美好的记忆，世上美丽的东西，以及值得你感恩的事情，那么，你也很可能会发现积极的事情。它们会滋润你的大脑，滋润你的心田，让你的生活欣欣向荣。

我很感恩，因为我的儿子正在上大一，综合看来，他一切都很顺利。我很感恩，因为我能和家人一起度过所有美好的节日。我很感恩，因为我能够写出新的“人生故事丛书”，奉献给读者。我很感恩，

因为我太太这样美丽的女人出现在了我生命中。我很感恩，因为那些“强烈情感体验”通信群的读者们，向我发来了温暖的话语。

那么，你在过去一年中最难忘的五个回忆片段是什么呢？

从过去一年里得到的最重要的经验教训是什么呢？

将它们列出来，表达你的感激之情，让世人、宇宙和上帝见证。

向你的家人分享这些感悟，并将本文传递给你关心的人，让他们也向你分享他们的感受。

毕竟，你所列出的东西都能得到回报。那将会让你快快乐乐，迎接新年。