谁能帮我改改这篇作文

题目:Many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give the advantage of each and support your viewpoint.




In today's society, learning a second language has formed a new trend in many countries. Whatever how young or how old the people are, they can sometimes find it is useful and helpful in learning a new language. For example, nowadays, more and more Chinese are learning English due to the availability of English all over the world, while others like American and Australian are also taking the Chinese as their second language for they want to have a good recognition of Chinese. Also, some people try to learn native language to involve into the local tradition. Obviously, both two kinds of people seem to be optional in choosing a second language. Hence, I think both of them have significant advantages to people.

As what I have mentioned above, learning a new language is to have a better recognition of a foreign country. For example, some students would like to study abroad to have a different and distinctive education. Then they work hard to learn the second language to support their academic requirement. Also, it is also available when some foreigners come to your country. Hence, it not only serves them a nice guider but also provides a good opportunity to put your language into practice. On the other hand, learning a new language can improve people's ability such as the talking and thinking.

Similarly, learning a native language can also bring a positive effect to people. If one were to have a long-term work in a city, it would be feasible to learn the local language, for it can solve the impediment of language on one hand, and be available to live in this city on the other hand. In addition, you may know more about the local tradition which improve your working efficiency and be easier to make friends.

In conclusion, I think whatever learning a foreign language or a local language should depend on one's interest, because people are always have different hobbies like working outside the country or stay domestically. Also, it supports you a good communication with others. Therefore, learning a new language is for people to communicate easier and more available, and that's why I think both of ways are important.

daxigua

兄弟，离题了。人家题目的意思是问你在美国学英语好，还是在中国学英语好？真不知你写到哪里去了。

请特别特别注意单词的搭配与用法。

中国式表达法太多。

建议：多背范文，多模仿！（如果是为了考试的话）

祝你好运！

goodman2008

楼上的兄弟帮楼主具体提一些意见嘛，哪些地方不对或者不恰当，帮人的同时也提高了自己
一举两得，岂不妙哉

yuanjh

███提醒　goodman2008兄　一下：

　　您的签名档该改一下了，您已经是版主了！

goodman2008

引用第3楼yuanjh于2007-11-26 20:17发表的 :
███提醒　goodman2008兄　一下：

　　您的签名档该改一下了，您已经是版主了！

多谢提醒，这个签名档表示当了版主不会随意删贴扣财富。

谭秋

我的建议：
Outline:
1.提出论点。Eg. Learning a second language in the country where it is spoken is much  better..
2.advantages: easier    have a foreign language environment  practice all the time
             standard  pronunciation and expressions
             much easier to know the custom of the country
              and so on
3.conclusion     Learning a second language in the country where it is spoken is much  better.  but people must have some knowledge of the languge,or it will be very hard .

yjj543000

楼主的文章总体是不错的,没有什么语法毛病,语句也挺通顺.而各位书友的建议也非常好.楼主会离题.我想还有一点是本身这个题目就有毛病, 对立的两方有概念的重叠.区别点不明显.让人很难下笔.以下是小生的拙见,仅供参考.
1. learning a second language has formed a new trend in many countries--个人觉得尝试用这种结构更为地道:it is a new trend to learn a second language

2. American and Australian are also taking the Chinese as their second language--据我所知,美国的第二外语言呀...

3. Also, it is also available when some foreigners come to your (own?) country. -- 这句话我结合上下句有点不明白, 或许楼主可以再具体补充一下.

4. and be （more）available to live in this city on the other hand. --应该是更加可行,不然也太绝对了.

5. communicate easier and more available. communicate 不作表语动词,后面是接副词吧.而这里的available 从意思上说有点别扭 More easily and naturally 楼主认为会不会更好些?.
望楼主继续努力!!!