在礼貌方面对汉语和英语文化的研究

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Study of Politeness in Chinese and English Culture
在礼貌方面对汉语和英语文化的研究

　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　What is politeness? This sounds like a simple question. In daily life, we often make judgements about what is polite and what is not polite. For example, to offer your seat to the elderly on a bus is considered polite behaviour, and to interrupt when someone is talking is considered impolite; to greet someone the first time you meet him in the morning is polite and to stand up to reach for the dish you want at a dinner table is impolite. So politeness can first of all be conceived as a phenomenon, an observable social phenomenon.
　　　What I would like to propose is that as an observable social phonemenon politeness is something superficial but to account for what is perceived at the surface we should delve into the depth where different cultural values are rooted.
　　　When being complimented, an English-speaking person would readily accept the compliment by saying something like \" Thank you\" to show his appreciation of the praise, but a Chinese speaker would try to deny the truth of the compliment. They both think they are behaving properly. Yet neither of them would think the other is being polite. The English speaker is being polite to the extent that by accepting and showing appreciation of the compliment, he avoids hurting the positive face of the person who makes it; the Chinese speaker is showing modesty by denigrating himself, ignoring the factuality of the compliment paid to him. As has been mentioned, self-denigration has been at the core of the Chinese noton of politeness for over two thousand years, the Chinese in order to show modesty will go to such lengths as to underrate what he himself has achieved and deny the truth of a complimentary remark. 　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　

　　什么是礼貌? 这似乎是一个简单的问题。在日常生活中，我们常常对什么是礼貌的，什么是不礼貌的做出判断。比如，在公共汽车上主动给老年人让座被认为是礼貌的行为而打断别人的谈话被认为是不礼貌的行为；在早晨遇到朋友打招呼被认为是礼貌行为而在餐桌上站起来夹自己想要的菜被认为是不礼貌的行为。因此，礼貌首先应是一种现象，一种可见的社会现象。
　　我想提出的是礼貌作为一种可见的社会现象仅是表面的，而要理解表面的现象则需探究扎根于不同文化中深层的内涵。
　　对于一个讲英语的人来说，当受到表扬时，他会欣然地接受并且说些\"谢谢\"之类的话表示感谢；但对一个说汉语的人来说，他会极力贬低自己。他们都认为自己很谦虚并表现的得体。然而，他们都会认为对方是不懂礼貌的。讲英语的人在接受和感谢别人的赞美时，会避免伤害说话人的脸面；中国人表现谦虚则是不顾事实真相贬低自己。正如所提到的，自贬是两千年来中国人表现礼貌的观念，中国人为了表现谦虚会极力地贬低自我所取得的成就并否认别人赞美的真相。