The 7-day holiday is so fabulous. I have not felt that so deep when I was a student. Now I have a job, it makes me feel that the holiday is so precious.
Everyday job according to the routine makes me feel tired. If there is no rest time, I will be crazy.
I think many guys have been to many beautiful places. I am not here to tell you the gorgeous buildings and splendid architecture; I am here to tell you what I have seen during this holiday that makes me feel worried.
I have been to small places that not far from my hometown with some of my best friends, they are also my senior middle school classmates.
We brought food, beverage and other entertainment items along with us. There we boating, dancing (we took a cassette player with us). We drank beer and really have a wonderful time there. We had our lunch on lawn. The grass is green and yellow with withering grass of last amidst. There are many people there, not only us. They had lunch on the lawn too. Form their closes and food we can guess that they are rich. May be they successful guys of uncertain fields. They drank beverage, eating food and sang songs happily, they really enjoyed themselves very much. After the lunch time. Most of us at the place began to dance. When dancing I and my friends found that the original tidy lawn was such a mess. The packages of the food and the remnant of the food are dotted on the lawn. But still they enjoyed themselves so much, pay no attention to the ground. From their conversation and their cars we could know some of them are government officers, some of them are teachers, some of them are bosses. They pay attention to the tidiness of their clothes, but how about the environment. If things going to be like this next time. I would rather there were no such 7-day holidays. Do you agree with me please?
makes me feel worried made me feel worried
really have a wonderful time really had a wonderful time
There are many people there There are many people 这个句子本身就是倒装的
Form their closes and food we can guess that they are rich.
From their cloth and food we can guess that they are rich.
pay no attention to the ground paid no attention to the ground
I have not felt that so deep―― 过去时，I did not feel that ；
Everyday job according to the routine—－－working in the same way everyday；
If there is no rest time---虚拟语气，if there has not been the rest time；
I am here to tell you what I have seen during this holiday that makes me feel worried.—－ I am here to tell you things making me worried which I have seen during this holiday强调的重点前移；
I have been to small places that not far from my hometown with some of my best friends, they are also my senior middle school classmates.―――I have been to small places not far from my hometown with some of my best friends, who are also my senior middle school classmates. that去掉，前后句子连接不起来，所以用从句；
There we boating, dancing―――――we keep boating, dancing；
We drank beer and really have a wonderful time there――――had a wonderful time there；
There are many people there――――There were many people there；
Form their closes and food we can guess that they are rich.―――From their clothes and food we could guess that they were rich；
May be they successful guys of uncertain fields.―――Maybe they were successful guys of uncertain fields. Maybe是副词；
They drank beverage, eating food and sang songs happily―――eating改为ate；
they really enjoyed themselves very much.―――去掉really和very much两者中的一个；
When dancing I and my friends―――When dancing my friends and I ；
pay no attention to the ground―――paying no attention to the ground；
government officers―――government officials；
They pay attention to the tidiness of their clothes, but how about the environment.―――They paid attention to the tidiness of their clothes, but not a little about the environment；
If things going to be like this next time. I would rather there were no such 7-day holidays.―――If no measures are taken about this phenomenon. I would rather there were no such 7-day holidays；
以上只是自己的拙见，见笑了。
1。Now I have a job, it makes me feel that the holiday is so precious. ---it 换成which 好些
job according to the routine -- 表达不简洁：routine work 就行了
2。I have been to small places that not far from my hometown with some of my best friends, 3。they are also my senior middle school classmates. -- that 多余；they用法不妥同1 ，换成who
4. We brought food, beverage and other entertainment items along with us. -- with us多余，已经有along 来表达此概念了
5。When dancing I and my friends found that -- 典型中国思维：改成my friend and I
6. still they enjoyed themselves so much, pay no attention to the ground--- pay 改为paying
7。we could know some of them are government officers, some of them are teachers, some of them are bosses. -- 不简洁，从第二个some of 起，可以省略谓语：some teachers, and some bosses.
If there is no rest time, I will be crazy. 我觉得这一句用虚拟语气可能要好一些，因为这是不可能发生的；If there was no rest time, I would be crazy.
I am not here to tell you the gorgeous buildings and splendid architecture; I am here to tell you what I have seen during this holiday that makes me feel worried.
这一句改为I am not here to tell you the gorgeous buildings and splendid architecture but tell you what I have seen during this holiday that makes me feel worried. 也就是把“; I am here to ” 用“but"替换，用上“not.....but....", 似乎这样要简洁些。
I would rather there were no such 7-day holidays. “would rather” 后面好像应该接上动词原形，I would rather have no such 7-day holidays.
发表于 2006-7-10 09:46:17
