有奖『翻译练习』（第二十一期）

mjt1981

[glow=255,red,2]其中的鼋头渚巨石状如鼋头 这句话如何翻译才能更好[/glow]
WUXI ,THE PEARL OF THE TAI LAKE,SITUATED IN THE SOUTH OF JIANGSU PROVINCE.
IT LOCATES IN THE CENTRAL OF THE YANGZE RIVER DELTA WHICH IS BEAUTIFUL AND  FERTILE,
WITH THE COMFORTABLE CLIMATE \PLENTIFUL SOURCE\BEAUTIFUL SIGHT.
IT IS ONE OF THE KEY TOURING CITIES.RUNNING ACROSS THE DISTRICT WITH THE JINGHANG GRANT CANAL,
WHICH STANDS SAMELY WITH THE  GRATE WALL
.SAILING IN THE RIVER,YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE FOLK-CUSTOM OF THE WATERY VILLAGE
SEVEN KILOMETRES AWAY FROM THE CITY RESTED THE SPIRIT OF THE TAI LAKE WHICH IS CALLED MEILIANG SECTION
SPREADS WITH THE BOATS SAILING AROUND,YOU OUT TO BE INEBRITED IN THE BEAUTIFUL SIGHTS .-----------------------WHERE YOU MAKE OVERLOOK AT THE  VAST TAI LAKE ,IS REGARED AS THE "TOP SIGHT" OF THE TAI LAKE BY POET "MO RUO GUO"

bigsnake

WuXi is a genuine pearl around Taihu in the south of JiangSu province and where is the center of beautiful and rich triangle place of the Changjiang River. She is a beautiful city that is the one of most tour garden city. The weather is comfort to live and there are many special local products. If you can float in a boat in the river which cross the city and named Jinghang River eponymous the Great Wall, you will appreciate the folk-custom of river countryside.
The Meiliang is the most beautiful scape over the Taihu where is 7Km far from WuXi. The boat in the largo and bluish green water and the mountain around the river like a picture which make you feel in the inebriation. The Yuantouzhu megalith like a big fish in the vast Taihu where was named “the most beautiful place in Taihu” by Goumurou who is one of the famous poet in China.

montana

参考答案:
  Wuxi, the pearl of Taihu Lake, is situated(/located) in the south(/southern part) of Jiangsu province and in the center of the beautiful and affluent(/prosperous) Yangtse Delta. It is one of China’s key tourist cities because of its agreeable climate, abundant products and beautiful scenery. The ancient Beijing-Hangzhou Grand Canal as famous as the Great Wall flows through the city. In a boat along the canal(If you are in a boat along the canal), you can appreciate (/enjoy/admire) the folk customs of the local areas(/local countryside).
  The Meiliang scenic area is the essence(/pick) of the scenery of the Taihu Lake which is seven kilometers away from downtown. It has boundless green waves, is dotted with fishing boats and surrounded by greenish hills. It’s really an fascinating(/charming) attraction. [In the scenic area,] there is a huge rock on Yuantouzhu like(/resembling/looking like/that looks like) the head of a turtle, facing the misty Taihu Lake in the distance. It is praised by Guo Moruo, the famous Chinese poet, as “the prettiest(/best/most beautiful) place(/spot) of the Taihu Lake”.

montana

本期翻译作品提交截止，欢迎大家继续跟贴讨论。

20072007

建议版主把答案放在第一楼，这样更加方便研究原文啊

gxxg

以下为本人拙见，如有任何不同意见，本人虚心聆听。

我觉得参考答案有点过于严谨，翻译的一字一板。我认为翻译应更有其灵活性，不必一字一板的翻译。一字一板的翻译读起来很绕口，难于打动人。用英语思维去翻译或许效果会更好。

montana

窃以为，译文的体裁应当尽量接近或等同原文的体裁。正式的文本的译文就得正式，反之亦然，而不可一概而论。

mcchan

我简略看了一遍 人人都是加一威望
似乎每一个的水平一样 这好像不太合理和缺少鼓励性
应该在每期的答案中选出较为好的一至三篇
最好的可以多一点威望 次点的可以威望加论坛币..等等措施
这样可以增加大家对答案精益求精的诱因