agent124 发表于 2023-10-29 09:30:45

Smiley's People汉译2

本帖最后由 agent124 于 2023-10-29 20:23 编辑

The first had for its background Paris, and for a season the boiling month of August, when Parisians by tradition abandon their city to the scalding sunshine and the bus-loads of packaged tourists.
第一起事件发生的地点在巴黎,时间是酷热的八月。这时候,按照传统,巴黎人都离开了,将城市留给灼热的阳光和一车车的背包客。

On one of these August days—the fourth, and at twelve o’clock exactly, for a church clock was chiming and a factory bell had just preceded it—in a quartier once celebrated for its large population of the poorer Russian émigrés, a stocky woman of about fifty, carrying a shopping bag, emerged from the darkness of an old warehouse and set off, full of her usual energy and purpose, along the pavement to the bus-stop.
就在这八月的一天,四号中午十二点整,工厂刚打过下工铃,教堂的钟就紧接着敲响了。在巴黎的一个区(这个区一度因为有大量贫困的苏联流亡者而出名),一位大约五十上下的矮胖妇女,带着一只购物袋,从一家阴暗的旧货栈出来,带着往常一样的活力,沿着人行道径直向公交车站走去。

说明:第二句里的 full of her usual energy and purpose很难译。参考了几种译法都不满意:
李译:一名年约五十的矮胖妇人,带着一只购物袋,从一座老旧仓库的阴影中现身。她一如往常地精力充沛,目标明确,沿着人行道走向公交车站。
施译:一个年约五十的矮胖妇女手拎购物提包,照例很带劲地从一家阴暗的旧货找里出来,沿着人行道走向公共汽车站。
ChatGPT: 一个约五十岁的矮壮妇女提着购物袋,走出一座古老仓库的黑暗,充满她一贯的活力和目标,沿着人行道朝着公交车站走去。

这里的意思是这个妇女的精力和目标都和往常一样,什么是目标?这里大概就是指要去坐公车。所以考虑再三后干脆直接译成“径直”以体现“目标明确”,“带着往常一样的活力”的说法,也不是太满意,但一时也想不出更好的说法。

另外,warehouse在英国英语里有“大型零售商场”的意思,但是小说后面有一句leaving her apartment early in order to check a particular consignment to the warehouse,所以这里译为货栈。

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