1, the state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, and entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty.
2, new和just意思重复；
加个and连贯些。 No.1
the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part I Revision:
the new state we have just inaugurated is entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part II Analysis:
I just remove "unusual in character" ,because it is unnecessary No.1
the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part I Revision:
the new state we have just inaugurated is essentially different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part II Analysis:
1. "unusual" is unnecessary
2. There is an essential differences between two state 引用第1楼白马西北驰于2007-11-02 15:00发表的 :
No.1
the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
1 The state we have just inaugurated is unusual, entirely different from the Qing dynasty.
2 a)定语从局 we have just inaugurated 所修饰的先行词一定是“新的”，state前的修饰语new是多余的；
b) unusual in character中 in character为多余的，因为unusual包括各种可能的意义；
c) 关于 the empire of Qing dynasty： 尽管 the empire of Qing dynasty可理解为前后同位关系（又如 the city of Beijing），读起来还是很别扭，建议省去empire of ，直接说the Qing dynasty Part I Revision::
The new state we have just inaugurated is unusual, and entirely different from Qing Empire.
Part II Analysis:
1. "the" at the beginning of the sentence shall be changed into "The", for the first letter of a sentence shall be capitalized;
2. "in character" shall be cancelled, because this is actually a Chinglish expression. There is no such an expression in English. And English sentences shall be as simple as possible on the condition that they are understandable;
3. "the empire of Qing dynasty" shall be changed into "the Qing Empire", which is the proper noun of the historical period of the Qing Dynasty, and is generally accepted; while "the empire of Qing dynasty" is too complicated and awkward; and
4. an "and" shall be added after the comma to connect the two parrallel parts of a compound sentence. Our newly inaugurated state is unusual , entirely different from the Qing Dynasty.
unusual含有属性特殊之意，不需使用in character ; the new state we have just inaugurated 也繁琐，可直接用 newly inaugurated state. 清帝国或清朝直接称为Qing Dyasty ，不需要加empire of. No.1
the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part I Revision: the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character and entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Part II Analysis:
I only find one mistake about this sentence
comma is unwanted in character the
很高兴能参加这个活动！
Part I Revision:the state we have inaugurated is unusual , entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty.Part II Analysis:
“ new”“ just”“ in character”is iterant. 来看看，可惜加密比较低，几乎所有的答案我都能看到，加上水平比较差，不做任何其他的评论，但提供一些老外给的题目，看看大家能否做出来：
Many people would say there was a “mistake” in each of the following sentences. Can you identify them? For each sentence, please do four things:
mark the faulty word or words;
briefly describe what is wrong;
try to write a correct or improved version;
decide how important the mistake is.
1.A rentcharge is the right to receive an annual sum out of the income of land every year.
2.All of the solutions considered so far have only involved Legendre functions of even order.
3.Before spelling out exactly what this means, it is worth first asking whether translating machinery is necessarily irreversible.
4.Being in charge, the accusation was particularly annoying to me.
5.Finally, it enables the therapist to assess the effectiveness of his own clinical skills and, hopefully, to improve them in future.
6.He is a former student who I’ve not seen for years.
7.He is an unskilled labourer and works at odd jobs, but he don't do any of them very well.
8.However, there were other patients whose lives had ended by suicide.
9.I have now discussed the proposals for replacing all the computers with my colleagues.
10.It is felt that less people would be put off attending with other problems if the stigma of going to a clinic could be dispensed with.
11.It is just possible that you are one of those rare people who has never seriously tried to diet.
12.It may be open to challenge on certain grounds, i.e. if an emergency occurs.
13.It was the community in it’s purest form.
14.It was thought necessary to determine legally that someone had attained the age when they were allowed to marry?
15.Jean Baptiste Lamarck (1744-1829) had supposed that the main cause of evolutionary change was because of the “inheritance of acquired character”.
16.Kinship in these societies had to be completely different to what it was in capitalist society.
17.No matter what he says, he has and will always be in charge.
18.She could give a better response than that to I and to my friends.
19.The category of killings which has come to be known as involuntary manslaughter hasn’t nothing to do with involuntariness.
20.The committee has not announced their decision yet.
21.The emphasis on revolution as ending every stage is, also, much more definately stated than in earlier works.
22.The esential feature of these results has been amply confirmed.
23.The experiment by Norcross (1958) which used a slightly different version of this procedure produced essentially the same outcome.
24.The first really useful realization of the Lie algebra of the Geroch group, was formulated by Kinnersley and Chitre (1977, 1978a, b).
25.The more aggressive technologies, those which need a great deal of energy and natural resources and cause extensive environmental pollution, represent a percentage of industrial production.
26.Jones and Smith argues that the problem began in December 1942.
27.At that time there were hardly any scholarly accounts of the period in question, the only really important biography was that of George V by Harold Nicolson.
28.The task - one that involved pedalling on a stationery bicycle - was equally demanding at all times.
29.They are, in fact, just the kind of thing the natural philosopher might be interested in.
30.This has meant that elsewhere it has been very difficult to clearly assess the extent of the problem.
31.Though he has generally been considered anti-intellectual and disinterested in art theory, at this stage of his career he shared the concerns of his fellows of the Petit Boulevard for principles of colour.
32.When they were discussing the historical development which led to capitalism.
参考答案在下面的网页中，本人还不能自己做出来，我想斑竹应该能看到吧
**** Hidden Message ***** 引用第69楼iamqsar于2007-11-08 12:44发表的 :
来看看，可惜加密比较低，几乎所有的答案我都能看到，加上水平比较差，不做任何其他的评论，但提供一些老外给的题目，看看大家能否做出来：
Many people would say there was a “mistake” in each of the following sentences. Can you identify them? For each sentence, please do four things:
mark the faulty word or words;
.......
谢谢楼上前辈指点，都怪俺威太少，为了评分，只好将就了。
开始考虑不成熟，赛程安排也是反复改，经验不足啊。
明天开始就要由swell老师接手，加密200威了，欢迎您继续关注，参与！
您给的四项要求很有参考价值，比我们定的规则更规范。我们会请评审团参考您的意见：
mark the faulty word or words;
briefly describe what is wrong;
try to write a correct or improved version;
decide how important the mistake is.
您出的题太多了，我们一起学习讨论用吧，谢谢！ Part I Revision: The new state we have just inaugurated is unusual, entirely different from the empire of the Qing Dynasty.
Part II Analysis: The phrase "in character" is unnecessary in English because the word "unusual"
just implies the intended meaning. Similarly, "The book is cheap in price", or "The box is heavy in weight" all have the same mistake in which "in price" and "in weight" are unnecessary.
By the way, the correct form of 清朝 should be "the Qing Dynasty", with a definite article "the" and "dynasty" capitalized. 加这么高的威望设定，摆明了欺负新人~~~~~~~~~~ 引用第72楼shishuanglin于2007-11-09 17:06发表的 :
加这么高的威望设定，摆明了欺负新人~~~~~~~~~~
朋友，加密威望是为了不让大家互相看到答案，为了方便活动进行，就像考试的时候大家座位也要互相隔开一点嘛。无奈之举，请谅解。
有些高威望的朋友也来捧场，他们是可以看到别人的答案的，不过他们给出的答案表达了他们自己的观点。
欢迎参加第二阶段的比赛，做第一个吃螃蟹的人。而且你可以加上200威望限制，让别人看不到你的答案：）
第二阶段活动链接，欢迎大家继续关注，积极参加：
http://www.readfree.net/bbs/read-htm-tid-4537755-fpage-2.html 引用第72楼shishuanglin于2007-11-09 17:06发表的 :
加这么高的威望设定，摆明了欺负新人~~~~~~~~~~
欺负了你什么？能说出来吗？ 白马兄怎么不公布第一期的答案呐？？俺等着学习学习呢 the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
句中的just去掉，dynasty也去掉
修改为：
the new state we have inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual in character, entirely different from the empire of Qing dynasty
Revision:the new state we have just inaugurated is unusual, entirely different from the Qing Dynasty
This example is taken from Joan Pinkham' book The Translator's Guide to Chinglish.
Although she does not make clear her point but simply gives the revision, we can draw on her account for unnecessary words to find out that the phrase " in character" is unnecessary because the adjective "unusual" implies certain character of the noun which it modifies.
But the question seems to me not so simple. In my view, "In character" is a 'legitimate' stock phrase.
Examples can be found in dictionaries and books:
The southern state became more nationalist in character.
It is almost songlike in character.
That following is the opinion of a native speaker of English:
"I agree that 'in character' adds little except for emphasis. You're also saying that it's entirely different, so that statement, in a sense, also underscores or qualifies your assertion that it's unique.
The sentence you wrote, as a whole, seems idiomatic to me."
Maybe Pinkham is right as saying, " Translation is not a science but a craft, and
craftsmen in any field may have different opinions as to the best solution to a given
technical problem".
we are glad to see that most of the participants had observed the problem of the redundant phrase "in character." Furthermore, some of them gave their original ideas interesting and insightful.
cicrerocicero, glen111 and brianleeeee made comprehensive comments on this Chinglish sentence. To read their posts is especially beneficial.
jingjing_lzu expressed his innovative point about the justifiablensee of the phrase "in character".
涂于德,asan82, chailang jinjin1996,and messenger postulated that the word "inaugurate" implies something new, so the word "new" is an repetition.
yjj543000 and uqqc observed that we usually use “Qing dynasty” to express “清朝”. That's a good job!
yuanxq observed that the first letter was not capitalized. The reason may be that Pinkham takes the examples as segments of sentence. But yuanxq's observation is correct!
iamqsar showed kind consideration for us and gave us insightful suggestion.
So, thank you all for your original ideas! We wish you good luck in the rest phases of the game!
[非常抱歉，由于网络故障，今天才贴出“答案”和“总结”。根据目前的情况，赛程需要一些调整。我们将贴出“通知”。感谢大家的热情参与，希望大家继续关注我们的活动，祝大家取得好成绩！] Hey, White Horse, great job! i am a fish