系列活动十二结束：看看作者的翻译
这是“白马西北驰”原创的一首诗，就以这首诗为这次活动的主要内容，翻译理解作者写作时的心态。到时候请“白马西北驰”公布你写作时的心态和汉语翻译。
（1）首先要求参与者设定一个可能发生的背景，并概括主旨；
（2）根据自己设定的背景，用简洁生活的语言翻译，注意仔细揣摩作者当时写作的心态。
（3）每位参与者的翻译内容加密200威望，限定时间8天。
本次活动，对于能够较为准确地解读出作者写作时的心态，将给予2个威望的奖励，其他的将根据各自己的表现给予不同程度的奖励
Sonnet
Under the starlit sky, beside the sea,
My heart is beating together with thine.
The breeze is so sweet, the beach shimmering,
Laugh of the crowd away from us tapering.
We sat on the sand hand in hand, the billows white
Incessantly breaking into foams nibbling our toes.
The snarl of the sea is far and then nigh,
Provoking feelings too profound to tell.
As if the fair scene is only set for us to share,
We, facing the vast undulation, enjoy what’s before us.
The bustling world is elsewhere,
What is left for us is calm and mysterious.
You say a tour may prove a good lover,
While my hope is our journey will end never.
作者的写作背景，大家参考一下：
这诗的场景是海南三亚大东海海滩，时间是在三月的一个夜晚，人物是一对恋人。曾经身临其境的人当能体会，这里的沙滩风景清嘉，砂质细腻，晚间海风袭人，比亚龙湾的海滩别有一番风韵。海浪无休无止扑向沙滩，退去的时候潮湿的沙踩踏上去细致如绸缎。夜间的大海给人神秘莫测之感，而恋人相伴身旁，看那洪波涌起，黑沉沉的海面跃起点点白色浪花，此时心中的感情也像夜色中的大海，充满一种无以名状的感觉，甚至有种宗教般的体验。罗曼•罗兰说他能体会到一种大海般浩瀚之感。我等凡尘中人，面对的大海的时候偶然体会到情感的升华，也是人生中宝贵的经历和记忆。至于最后的对句，也不过是实录其事，对于恋人来说，最大的考验莫过于一起旅行，如果争吵不休，那么就要认真考虑前途了，如果能彼此宽容，大致说来琴瑟和谐的希望很大，呵呵，算是一点人生经验。
作者的翻译：
在星光熠熠的夜空下，大海边，
我的心和你的心一起跳动。
人群的笑声离我们渐远渐不闻，
微风芬芳袭人，沙滩闪烁微光。
我们手牵手坐在沙中，白色浪花
不停碎成浪沫舔着我们的脚趾。
大海涛声从远方来，渐渐近了，
激发情感深沉难倾诉。
看洪波起伏，静对眼前景色
这良辰美景像只为我们而设。
尘世喧嚣不知在何处，
留给我们的是沉静和神秘。
你说旅行能考验爱人是否佳偶，
我只愿我们的旅程永无尽头！ 我先来挑点刺，feelings 用ｐｒｏｆｏｕｎｄ修饰并不妥当，个人深切的情感文绉绉一点应该用ｉｎｎｅｒｍｏｓｔ．
这个得算搂主的chinglish 或者得叫international English...
明天有空再来参加活动
我用google搜索了一下“profound feeling”
虽然有多达60500条相关信息
但是最前的几个果然是中文网页上的东西
然后后面几个里面虽是英文网页
但是并不是英文母语的国家制作的，譬如这个：
Tantric yoga, as a system of rituals, exercises, and philosophical teachings, was developed over the past 2500 years in a practical search for profound feeling and awareness. Just as a modern scientist might spend years on a single ...
http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Tantric_Celibacy/id/52544
一看就是是印度人做的网页.....
所以我再次重申楼主的说法很不可靠。这实际是误导......
当然我承认楼主英文的功底肯定是比我高
不过我查字典可能更勤
虽说是挑刺，但更多的是互相学习
小白可不要介意哦
这个问题要从什么角度去看，如果说单从是否能理解的角度，可能英语为母语国家的人看懂肯定没问题，但是人家自己不一定这么用。就像breeze我看了下，从搭配的角度，用sweet修饰可能也不是地道的做法.....
这些都是个人意见，仅供参考。
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关于十四行诗：
意大利十四行诗
意大利十四行诗分为两段，先八后六。前八句韵牌是 a-b-b-a， a-b-b-a。后六句有两种，c-d-e-c-d-e，或者 c-d-c-c-d-c。第九句不止改韵牌，很多时候题目或感觉也不一样。
意大利十四行诗的规则由 Guittone d'Arezzo（1235年－1294年）所建，他自己写了将近300首。最著名的早期十四行诗人是彼特拉克（Francesco Petrarca，1304年－1374年）。别的意大利诗人也写了一些十四行诗，如 Dante Alighieri （1265年－1321年）和 Guido Cavalcanti （約1250年－1300年）。
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英国十四行诗
意大利十四行诗传入英国之后，结构改变。英国类分为3段四句加最后两句。最后的两句通常与前面的大不相同，比意大利类第九句改变更厉害。一般英国十四行诗的韵牌是 a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g， 或者 a-b-a-b, b-c-b-c, c-d-c-d, e-e。
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现代十四行诗
白话文时兴之后，十四行诗变得很少见，但是19世纪和20世纪还是有人写，如法国的 Arthur Rimbaud 和 Stéphane Mallarmé。现在还有专门发表十四行诗的网站。 我还是喜欢DOCTORLIUBO的英文诗歌和文章，至少让我想起了。。。嘿嘿，秘密，不说了。。。
学习楼主的十四行诗 我数了数,还真是十四行 这首十四行诗应该是白马兄写在一次到海边旅行后. 表达此行的感受.
群星闪耀的星空下, 站在海边,
我的心与你的心一同跳动.
清风如此甜美, 海滩也发出闪烁的光芒,,
远方人群的笑声渐渐离我们远去.
我们坐在沙滩上, 手牵着手,
白浪不断地破裂为水沫, 轻啃着我们的脚趾.
海的呼啸乎远乎近,
自豪的感情无法表述.
似乎这美丽的场景只为我们所有,
我们面朝着这巨大的波动,享受着眼前的一切.
那喧嚣的世界则在别处,
留给我们的却是安宁与神秘.
你说一次旅行也许可以证明一个好的情人,(这句不知道什么意思,希望作者能解疑)
可我希望我们的旅行永不停止.
后记: 感觉自己翻译得不大好,直译的还是太多. 只希望自己是抛砖引玉,期望后面的朋友加油) **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message ***** 这么多人翻完了，牛人啊，我先普及一下什么是sonnet，从网上搜到的 一会儿再翻译楼主大作
The term "sonnet" derives from the Provencal word "sonet" and the Italian word "sonetto," both meaning "little song." By the thirteenth century, it had come to signify a poem of fourteen lines that follows a strict rhyme scheme and logical structure. The conventions associated with the sonnet have evolved over its history. The writers of sonnets are known as "sonneteers."
Traditionally, when writing sonnets, English poets usually employ iambic pentameter. In the Romance languages, the hendecasyllable and Alexandrine are the most widely used metres.
The Italian sonnet
The Italian sonnet (or Petrarchan, named after Petrarch, the Italian poet) was probably invented by Giacomo da Lentini, head of the Sicilian School under Frederick II. Guittone d'Arezzo rediscovered it and brought it to Tuscany where he adapted it to his language when he founded the Neo-Sicilian School (1235–1294). He wrote almost 300 sonnets. Other Italian poets of the time, including Dante Alighieri (1265–1321) and Guido Cavalcanti (c. 1250–1300) wrote sonnets, but the most famous early sonneteer was Francesco Petrarca (1304–1374) The Italian sonnet was divided into an octave (resp. two quatrains), which stated a proposition or a problem, followed by a sestet (resp. two tercets), which provided a resolution, with a clear break between the two sections. Typically, the ninth line created a "turn" or volta, which signaled the move from proposition to resolution. Even in sonnets that don't strictly follow the problem/resolution structure, the ninth line still often marks a "turn" by signalling a change in the tone, mood, or stance of the poem.
In the sonnets of Giacomo da Lentini, the octave rhymed a-b-a-b, a-b-a-b; later, the a-b-b-a, a-b-b-a pattern became the standard for Italian Sonnets. For the sestet there were two different possibilities, c-d-e-c-d-e and c-d-c-c-d-c. In time, other variants on this rhyming scheme were introduced such as c-d-c-d-c-d.
The first known sonnets in English, written by Sir Thomas Wyatt and Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, used this Italian scheme, as did sonnets by later English poets including John Milton, Thomas Gray, William Wordsworth and Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
This example, On His Being Arrived to the Age of Twenty-three by John Milton, gives a sense of the Italian Form:
How soon hath Time, the subtle thief of youth, (a)
Stolen on his wing my three and twentieth year! (b)
My hasting days fly on with full career, (b)
But my late spring no bud or blossom shew'th. (a)
Perhaps my semblance might deceive the truth, (a)
That I to manhood am arrived so near, (b)
And inward ripeness doth much less appear, (b)
That some more timely-happy spirits indu'th. (a)
Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow, (c)
It shall be still in strictest measure even (d)
To that same lot, however mean or high, (e)
Toward which Time leads me, and the will of Heaven. (d)
All is, if I have grace to use it so, (c)
As ever in my great Task-master's eye. (e)
The English sonnet
Sonnets were introduced by Thomas Wyatt in the early 16th century. His sonnets and those of his contemporary the Earl of Surrey were chiefly translations from the Italian of Petrarch and the French of Ronsard and others. While Wyatt introduced the sonnet into English, it was Surrey who gave them the rhyme scheme, meter, and division into quatrains that now characterizes the English sonnet. Sir Philip Sidney's sequence Astrophil and Stella (1591) started a tremendous vogue for sonnet sequences: the next two decades saw sonnet sequences by William Shakespeare, Edmund Spenser, Michael Drayton, Samuel Daniel, Fulke Greville, William Drummond of Hawthornden, and many others.These sonnets were all essentially inspired by the Petrarchan tradition, and generally treat of the poet's love for some woman; the exception is Shakespeare's sequence. In the 17th century, the sonnet was adapted to other purposes, with John Donne and George Herbert writing religious sonnets, and John Milton using the sonnet as a general meditative poem. Both the Shakespearean and Petrarchan rhyme schemes were popular throughout this period, as well as many variants.
The fashion for the sonnet went out with the Restoration, and hardly any sonnets were written between 1670 and Wordsworth's time. However, sonnets came back strongly with the French Revolution. Wordsworth himself wrote several sonnets, of which the best-known are "The world is too much with us" and the sonnet to Milton; his sonnets were essentially modelled on Milton's. Keats and Shelley also wrote major sonnets; Keats's sonnets used formal and rhetorical patterns inspired partly by Shakespeare, and Shelley innovated radically, creating his own rhyme scheme for the sonnet "Ozymandias". Sonnets were written throughout the 19th century, but, apart from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese and the sonnets of Dante Gabriel Rossetti, there were few very successful traditional sonnets. Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote several major sonnets, often in sprung rhythm, of which the greatest is "The Windhover," and also several sonnet variants such as the 10-1/2 line curtal sonnet "Pied Beauty" and the 24-line caudate sonnet "That Nature is a Heraclitean Fire." By the end of the 19th century, the sonnet had been adapted into a general-purpose form of great flexibility.
This flexibility was extended even further in the 20th century. Among the major poets of the early Modernist period, Robert Frost, Edna St. Vincent Millay and E. E. Cummings all used the sonnet regularly. William Butler Yeats wrote the major sonnet Leda and the Swan, which used half rhymes. Wilfred Owen's sonnet Anthem for Doomed Youth was another sonnet of the early 20th century. W.H. Auden wrote two sonnet sequences and several other sonnets throughout his career, and widened the range of rhyme-schemes used considerably. Auden also wrote one of the first unrhymed sonnets in English, "The Secret Agent" (1928). Half-rhymed, unrhymed, and even unmetrical sonnets have been very popular since 1950; perhaps the best works in the genre are Seamus Heaney's Glanmore Sonnets and Clearances, both of which use half rhymes, and Geoffrey Hill's mid-period sequence 'An Apology for the Revival of Christian Architecture in England'. The 1990s saw something of a formalist revival, however, and several traditional sonnets have been written in the past decade.
Form
Soon after the introduction of the Italian sonnet, English poets began to develop a fully native form. These poets included Sir Philip Sidney, Michael Drayton, Samuel Daniel, the Earl of Surrey's nephew Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford and William Shakespeare. The form is often named after Shakespeare, not because he was the first to write in this form but because he became its most famous practitioner. The form consists of three quatrains and a couplet. The couplet generally introduced an unexpected sharp thematic or imagistic "turn" called a volta. The usual rhyme scheme was a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g. In addition, sonnets are written in iambic pentameter, meaning that there are 10 syllables per line, and that every other syllable is naturally accented.
This example, Shakespeare's Sonnet 116, illustrates the form:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds (a)
Admit impediments. Love is not love (b)
Which alters when it alteration finds, (a)
Or bends with the remover to remove. (b)
O no, it is an ever fixed mark (c)
That looks on tempests and is never shaken; (d)
It is the star to every wand'ring barque, (c)
Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken. (d)
Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks (e)
Within his bending sickle's compass come; (f)
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, (e)
But bears it out even to the edge of doom. (f)
If this be error and upon me proved, (g)
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. (g)
The Spenserian sonnet
A variant on the English form is the Spenserian sonnet, named after Edmund Spenser (c.1552–1599) in which the rhyme scheme is, a-b a-b, b-c b-c, c-d c-d, e-e. In a Spenserian sonnet there does not appear to be a requirement that the initial octave set up a problem which the closing sestet answers, as is the case with a Petrarchan sonnet. Instead, the form is treated as three quatrains connected by the interlocking rhyme scheme and followed by a couplet. The linked rhymes of his quatrains suggest the linked rhymes of such Italian forms as terza rima. This example is taken from Amoretti
Happy ye leaves! whenas those lily hand
Happy ye leaves! whenas those lily hands, (a)
Which hold my life in their dead doing might, (b)
Shall handle you, and hold in love's soft bands, (a)
Like captives trembling at the victor's sight. (b)
And happy lines on which, with starry light, (b)
Those lamping eyes will deign sometimes to look,(c)
And read the sorrows of my dying sprite, (b)
Written with tears in heart's close bleeding book. (c)
And happy rhymes! bathed in the sacred brook (c)
Of Helicon, whence she derived is, (d)
When ye behold that angel's blessed look, (c)
My soul's long lacked food, my heaven's bliss. (d)
Leaves, lines, and rhymes seek her to please alone,(e)
Whom if ye please, I care for other none. (e)
The Modern Sonnet
As mentioned earlier, many English poets have used the sonnet form to great effect.
With the advent of free verse, the sonnet came to be seen as somewhat old-fashioned and fell out of use for a time among some schools of poets. However, a number of 20th-century poets, including Wilfred Owen, John Berryman, Edwin Morgan, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Jorge Luis Borges, Pablo Neruda, Joan Brossa, Rainer Maria Rilke, and Seamus Heaney, successfully rose to the challenge of reinvigorating the form.
Though not formally organized into an entire academic field (it is more properly a subfield of literary studies or English studies), sonnet studies (also known as sonnetology colloquially) is a branch of literary criticism and literary theory that involves scholarship and research as it relates directly to the sonnet and the writers/poets that compose them (known as sonneteers), along with the creative process involved in writing and composing them (known as "sonnetizing"). Sonnet studies involves the deep understanding, criticism, research, and history of the particular poetic form known as the sonnet.
The 21st century has seen a strong resurgence of the sonnet form, as there are many sonnets now appearing in print and on the Internet. Richard Vallance publishes the Canadian quarterly journal Sonnetto Poesia (ISSN 1705-452) which is dedicated to the sonnet, villanelle, and quatrain forms, as well as the monthly Vallance Review on historical and contemporary sonneteers. Michael R. Burch publishes The HyperTexts and there are sonnets from well-known poets on his site. Phillis Levin edited The Penguin Book of the Sonnet in 2001, including historical as well as contemporary exemplars. William Baer has also recently published 150 Contemporary Sonnets (University of Evansville Press 2005).
Vikram Seth's 1986 novel The Golden Gate is written in 690 14-line stanzas, similar to sonnets, but in reality an adaptation of the stanza invented by the Russian poet Alexander Pushkin for his poem "Eugene Onegin." Marilyn Hacker's Love, Death, and the Changing of the Seasons is a novel in true sonnets (with villanelles and roundels thrown in for good measure) that came out in the same year.
转载自http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonnet 要说十四行诗, 还是莎翁的最有名啊~!! **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message *****
楼主的诗好像不是很符合十四行诗的格律，还是赞一下 **** Hidden Message *****
十四行诗
**** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message ***** 关于本人在一楼发表的意见欢迎大家拍砖情境设定：陶醉爱情的海边两人世界。以及一方对于这份爱情的痴守。
十四行诗
璀璨星空下的海边，
我心与你一同跳动。
微风如此甜美，海滩也泛出微光，
远处人群中的笑声只隐约可闻。
我们手执着手坐在沙上，
白色的海浪不断带来的水沫轻吻着我们的脚趾。
海的啸声自远而近，
激起了无以言表的深深情感。
仿佛眼前美景只属于我们两人，
面对着巨大的海浪，我们为眼前景色所陶醉。
喧嚣只在他处，
静谧归于我们。
你说真爱在于过程，
而我望它永不止息。 **** Hidden Message ***** **** Hidden Message *****