汇丰商务英语写作教程（29）
对客户说“NO”可不是件好做的事情。怎样才能在拒绝的同时不让客户产生反感、而失去客户呢？下面就教给您给客户写拒绝信的一些注意事项。Difficult Letter #2: Refusing a Request
THE SITUATION
An HSBC customer in Canada has read a copy of HSBC's Premier Magazine at the home of a friend. She liked it so much that she requested the Bank to send the magazine to her home. HSBC, however, only sends this magazine to its Premier customers.
One of your staff has drafted a reply for you.
THE FIRST DRAFT
Evaluate the tone of the first draft, which is printed below.
16 March 200X
Mary Davis
23 Queensway Drive
Richmond Hill
Ontario L4S 1S1
Dear Ms Davis
Thank you for your letter requesting a copy of our Premier Magazine.
Unfortunately, we are unable to grant your request.
You see, we send this magazine only to our Premier customers.
Please accept our apologies.
Yours sincerely
Would you send this letter to your customer?
Write your comments on a piece of paper. Then, compare your comments with the evaluation below.
THE FIRST DRAFT - EVALUATION
The letter is quite courteous. The writer has used \"magic words\" to be polite and pronouns to be personal. The writer also has tried to be positive by stating what we CAN do, ie \"send the magazine only to our Premier customers\".
However, the customer would probably be unhappy after reading this letter. Why? Because the writer said \"no\" rather directly.
How, then, can you break the news gently? In other words, how can you politely refuse a customer's request?
IMPROVING THE DRAFT
How could you improve the draft?
Write your ideas on a piece of paper. Then compare your ideas with some suggestions.
You should begin as the writer did, ie with a neutral sentence (eg \"Thank you for ...\"). You should then add a sentence complimenting the customer (eg \"We are pleased that you are interested in this publication.\"). Or, if the customer has problems, you could express empathy (eg \"I understand that you ...\").
Next, you should pave the way for the refusal. In other words, you should give the reasons for refusing the request first. When giving reasons, you should not mention \"bank policy\", which means very little to the reader. Then, you can conclude the paragraph with the refusal itself.
Before closing the letter politely, you should suggest - if possible -- an alternative to what the customer has requested. Such an offer will show that you value the customer.
IMPROVING THE DRAFT - APPROPRIATE PATTERN
How do you structure the contents when you need to refuse a customer's request?
In the table below, the pattern for refusing a customer's request is incomplete. You need to complete it.
Pattern for refusing a customer's request
1) Pleasant introduction, complimenting or empathising with the customer
2)
3)
4)
5) Polite close, with offer of help
Keys:
2) Reasons for the refusal
3) Refusal
4) Alternative suggestion (if appropriate)
REVISING THE DRAFT
Now try revising the draft prepared by a member of your staff.
To do this, you will need
l the draft prepared by your staff member
l the appropriate pattern for refusing a customer's request
l a pen and a piece of paper.
REVISING THE DRAFT – EXAMPLE
16 March 200X
Mary Davis
23 Queensway Drive
Richmond Hill
Ontario L4S 1S1
Dear Ms Davis
Thank you for your letter requesting HSBC's Premier Magazine. I am delighted to learn that you are interested in this publication.
As an HSBC customer, you may have heard about Premier, our personal banking service. One of Premier's many benefits is a free subscription to Premier Magazine. I'm afraid that, since you do not yet have a Premier account, we are unable to send you this magazine.
However, I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to become one of our Premier customers. You only need to maintain a minimum balance of CAD50,000 to experience this special service. I have enclosed a brochure which provides additional information.
If you would like to enjoy all the benefits of our Premier service (including the magazine), please visit any HSBC branch. We will be happy to help you apply.
I hope this information is helpful and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
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