Adapt it to audience taste
在本期大学英语四六级考试专栏中，复旦大学夏国佐教授对读者题为\"Spring Festival Gala on CCTV\"的作文进行了讲评和改写。这是2006年12月四级考试的作文题目。按照四级作文的评分标准，这篇文章得分13-14分，满分是15分。如果你希望自己的文章得到夏教授的亲自点评，请按照下面的要求写出一篇短文，发到elt@21stcentury.com.cn。Directions：For this, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a essay entitled Spring Festival Gala on CCTV. Write at least 120 words following the outline given below.
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕观看春节联欢晚会 2. 有些人却提出取消春节联欢晚会 3. 在我看来……
读者原文
It's been about two decades since the Spring Festival Gala on CCTV came to the life of the Chinese people. Chinese families have already taken it as a tradition to watch the program while celebrating the coming of a new year. In fact, family member need a type of amusement on the Spring Festival Eve to help them kill the time. The Gala is the best choice.
However, in recent years, the popularity of the Gala has been declining. Some people complain the program is boring and think it should be cancelled. Due to the changes of the society, many people find their tastes for entertainment programs have already changed but the Gala still maintains its old format and content. Moreover, more people turn to the Internet for entertainment.
As far as I'm concerned, the Gala can never be replaced by any other programs. I believe CCTV can make it more diverse and interesting by adapting it to the audiences' tastes and listening to their advice. And then, the audience will come back.
修改后的文章
It's been almost two decades since the Spring Festival Gala on CCTV came into the lives of Chinese people. Many families have made watching the program a tradition for celebrating the coming of a new year. In fact, family members need some type of amusement on Spring Festival Eve to help create a festive atmosphere. The Gala is a natural choice.
However, in recent years, the Gala has been declining in popularity. Some people complain that it' s boring and think that it should be cancelled. It's true that, because of social changes, people's taste in entertainment programs has changed. Unfortunately, the Gala has maintained its old format and content at a time when more people are turning to the Internet for their entertainment. But, as far as I'm concerned, the Gala could never be replaced. I cannot conceive of any other entertainment that's better at getting the whole family together to greet the new year. I believe CCTV can adapt the program to audience taste by making it more diverse and interesting. To do this, CCTV needs to go among the people and listen to what they have to say. When they come up with programs with real popular appeal, the audience will come back.
夏老师的点评
这篇作文写得相当好，内容比较充实，文字比较流畅，作者对复合长句有很好的驾驭能力，对书面英语的语感也很不错。除了个别的疏忽，基本上没有语言错误。比较好地达到了大学英语四级的写作要求。比较起来，前两段写得更为充实一些，而第三段可能时间不够了，展开不够，如果这一段写得具体一点就更好了。另外，从思想内容来说，还可以想得更深、更严密一些。下面是几点具体的修改建议：
1. 第一段第一句中的\"came to the life\"应改为\"came into the lives\"。同一段第三句中的\"family member\"应为\"family members.\"
2. 第一段第三句中的\"to help them kill the time\"改为\"to help create a festive atmosphere\" 更好。 因为\"消磨时间\"并非是除夕看春节联欢晚会的主要目的， 而全家人一起观看、创造节日的欢乐气氛才是其真正的目的。
3. 第二段没有大的改动，只是加了一些小的修饰词如\"it's true that\", \"unfortunately\"等，使上下文衔接更自然一些。
4. 第三段第一句后面加了一句\"I cannot conceive of any other entertainment that's better at getting the whole family together to greet the new year\"，其目的是进一步说明前一句的观点。否则你的观点不一定能使人信服。
5. 第三段第二句\"I believe CCTV can make it more diverse and interesting by adapting it to the audiences' tastes…\"逻辑上有点问题，可以改为\"I believe CCTV can adapt the program to audience taste by making it more diverse and interesting\"。要把春节联欢晚会改得适合观众的口味，其途径是让它变得多样化，趣味化，而不是反过来。
6. 第三段的其他修改，主要是把话说得更具体，使内容更充实。尽管文章的篇幅短，还是要尽量做到有血有肉，文章才更具说服力。
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