汇丰商务英语写作教程（26）
SummaryIn this chapter, you learned how to revise your sentences to make them courteous.
To make your sentences courteous, you need to be
l polite (by using magic words as well as modal verbs, and by turning statements into questions)
l positive (by stating what you can do and by using the \"if-contract\")
l personal (by using personal pronouns, people's names and the active voice of the verb)
l professional (by using standard English expressions correctly).
Summary Exercises
There are two exercises in this section. In both exercises, you will practise revising a letter to make the sentences more courteous.
SUMMARY EXERCISE 1
You know the letter below is not very courteous. Revise the letter to make the sentences more polite, positive, personal and professional. Write your revised letter on a piece of paper.
12 May 200X
Ms Rachel Harrison
34 Smythe Court
Westfield
Dear Madam
Reference is made to your letter of 1 May regarding the status of the application for a Privilege Card.
The Bank has checked the relevant records. The application was received, but the cheque was not enclosed.
Be advised that the cheque must be received before the Privilege Card can be sent.
Yours faithfully
S Martin
Personal Relationship Manager
Compare your letter with this suggested revision.
12 May 200X
Ms Rachel Harrison
34 Smythe Court
Westfield
Dear Ms Harrison
Privilege Card Application
Thank you for your letter of 1 May.
I would like to inform you of the status of your application for a Privilege Card.
We have checked our records carefully. We received your application on 4 May, but not the cheque.
If you can send us a cheque, we will immediately send you the Privilege Card. If you have any questions, please call me on 2318 1215.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
S Martin
Personal Relationship Manager
SUMMARY EXERCISE 2: LETTER TO MR PERRY
In Chapter 3 you drafted a letter to Mr Perry and then revised the document for completeness. In Chapter 4, your revised the paragraphs of the letter and made them cohesive. In Chapter 5, you revised the sentences of the letter to make them clear and concise.
In this exercise, you will revise the letter to Mr Perry again. This time, you will try to make the sentences courteous.
To do this exercise, you will need the letter which you revised in Chapter 5.
Check each sentence to make sure that it is courteous.
You should write your revision on a piece of paper. When you finish revising the sentences in your letter to Mr Perry, keep both the \"first draft\" and this \"fourth revision\". You'll need them in Chapter 8.
Well Done!
You've now completed Chapter 6!
You've also completed the fourth stage of the Writing Process: Revise.
So, now you know how to
l write courteous sentences
l revise sentences to make them courteous.
You also should know that, to produce courteous sentences, you need to be
l polite
l positive
l personal
l professional.
In the next chapter, you'll learn how to reply to difficult letters. You'll discover how to structure the contents of your letter in an appropriate way.
See you there!
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